I have a question, well more of a thought. As I grow older I find that I don’t want to have full on sex with men, but I do want to be intimate, touching and massaging, When i was younger I cruised areas when I was horny, not a safe option. I have used sex lines but they are expensive and again just about raw sex or pure fantasy and not a safe option nor a wise one. I have visited (a place) once and its a real sex place, not very intimate or friendly and lots of unsafe sex happens and older guys like me, are not really that welcome. I stayed 20 minutes and left. Are there groups for guys who meet to touch and wank and relax in the safety of a private home or is this an urban myth. Perhaps the sauna scene is where such intimacy happens, I don’t really know. These are my thoughts and I don’t expect you to solve them or come up with an answer but I thought I would put the thoughts out there as I cant be the only guy, bi/gay/str8 who would just like some mutual masturbation/ erotic touch without the worry that STIs bring, and that it happens in a safe place. I have been in a men`s group for 6 years and occasionally talked about such things but such real sex talk is rare and not always appropriate or what men want in that therapeutic setting. The church fears sex so turns it into some kind of intimate god talk but with your pants firmly on, when in reality men want someone to touch them for real, only then do they see the divine. Real divinity cannot be separated from real physicality. As I don’t believe there is such a thing as an eternal soul separate from the body then divinity and sexuality and physical intimacy are the same and interchangeable, the real trinity of love. I think a group of men talking about their desires and anxieties and real needs and fears is missing. If we talk about it then men may gravitate to meeting that desire and need for intimacy, who knows. So I have said it and its out there flying around the heavens. Marco Del Rey
Sharing a video of Tantric exercises that might help some. Easy exercises, spiritually based – lovely facilitator. I also love to do sensual massage for seniors. 🙂
https://www.xvideos.com/video.kiafmoh0bbb/tantra_exercises_for_the_male_genitals
Thank You, Declan
I thought this is a wonderful post. I agree. There is a touch of the divine in my sexual dreams and reality. I am fortunate to be in a marriage with a man who embodies this as well.
It is what Whitman wrote of, the ritual of comrades.
You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, your just might find, you get what you need!
Hi. I share many of your thoughts and desires – thanks for expressing them. I wish men would be more open and willing to talk about male on male intimacy whether str8 bi or gay. Like you i find mr cox’s gentle gifts fulfilling and sexually nurturing.
I totally agree, Pete.
Hi. I share many of your thoughts and desires – thanks for expressing them. I wish men would be more open and willing to talk about male on male intimacy whether str8 bi or gay.
“I have found in you,” he said? Is there something missing? Or is this Denglisch? (Wenn das der Fall ist, würde ich gerne den O-Ton lesen).
have you found a safe space?
I have found that long overdue safe place. Every bit of it: warm, kind attentive, soft, constantly present and no intruding.
We have the most wonderful talks full of laughter and hot sex crowned with a spoon nap. We know we are there, even to share silence.
We are both married, have a wife and daughters. We love our families. And we know we have grown as men also because he have shared more than friends are “supposed to share”: physical intimacy. We like our bonding and take care of it.
We count ourselves extremely lucky and we don’t demand anything but sincerity.
When we first met more than a year ago, we knew that we had to add value to our friendship. Sex wouldn’t be enough to cement a long lasting bonding.
From them on, we meet frequently and we want to maintain a “tag free” relationship: lovers? Bi men having sexual encounters? Partners?… we prefer to be plain, simple, normal men. No agenda but being happy exploring affections usually hidden under heavy layers of socially accepted “normal” behavior.
We are different from each other. We feel and vibrate in a different wave length. And our visions complement each other. We allow ourselves to be different.
Life has given us an opportunity and we have been wise and humble enough to take it. We are happy men.
Andreas, I too have found exactly what you describe. A friend like no other, a mate-with-soul, made possible by the sex we have, a deep bond and understanding for each others life, simply just “normal men” as you say. Geography keeps us apart physically a fair amount of time but it is more than just sex. We are different from each other too and that is good, as lovers fall into the trap of focusing inward and gazing into each other’s eyes in an attempt to becum a whole, we are able to stand apart beside each other, reassured, looking forwards at the opportunities of life.
I am BoBs Bumchum
Stephen. I love you too. A friend with several benefits, not the least of which is compassion and a shoulder to cry on and yet maintain our place as men, separate, independent, strong and true to ourselves.
Thank you.
And thank you also to Seb Cox whose wonderful site brought us together like two ancient Greeks bound in honour and manly enjoyment of all our sex has to offer each other.