i need relief! every day is the constant battle with what i want.. and what i believe is right. In less than a month i will be an 19yr old with a deep secret. im afraid im gay…i have had a girlfriend for 18 months now and i cant connect with her. being raised a christian and still being one, i am so confused.. stretched.. lost… i dont know what to do, or where im at? i live in south brisbane australia and need answers. as all this is the biggest secret of my entire life, i keep discreet. plz help. Mitch
Hey Mitch. ”When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” — 1 Corinthians 13:11, King James Version. Buddy I’m afraid there’s no one who can help you, but you. homosexuality is as old as the human race. It’s a part of our species and it’s something you were born with. That being said, the only thing that’s wrong with you is your misguided beliefs. The only way for you to be happy is to accept this part of yourself. Accept it, absorb it, learn to love it, and as a result live your life to the fullest. If there are any words of Christ you should glum onto right now, it’s ”you reap what you sow”. If you sow unhappiness, you will be unhappy. If you sow doubt and fear, you will live a life of doubt and fear, yes? So shed them. Relish in your passions. Love and be loved. Love another man. Love several other men, if you want. Pray to your Lord, not for forgiveness, but for happiness and fulfillment. And when you one day die and stand before Him, you can hold you head high and say you lived your life to the fullest. You were a good man, a kind man, to the very best of your ability. And then you thank Him for the wonderful life that he bestowed on you. So, is it time for you to put away childish things, and become a man? – Ben
In this life we are answerable to only ourselves. live your life for you. do what makes you happy. in many years to come you will know you made the right decision. its hard when you think how family may react but even if they react badly you are still family they will understand in time. Remember, there is nowhere in the bible where it says homosexuality is wrong..only interpretations people put on it. you go mitch. i really do wish you all the best, i have been there myself you will get through it a stronger and better person..honest. – dave keeton
I have been in the same position as you and found it very difficult but stay in the closet it may be this is not the girl for you but be patient, treat your Girlfriend with kindness and respect it maybe just a false alarm, take your time to work things out ,
Hello Mitch-
Please hear what each of us here is saying. Take from us what you will as you decide “what childish things” to “put away.”
1 Corinthians 13:11
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
You’ll need a little study for the next part.
Most of what you have learned in school and know about the world is
“A PRIORI” knowledge.
As an adult, you are now free to explore both the physical and the metaphysical worlds to develop your own “A POSTERIORI” knowledge.
To do so is the greatest privilege that adulthood brings: being able to determine your own truths.
And these are important cause life is a shit show and you’ll need them to get through it.
For example: You might feel pressured to pursue a certain career track because your parents prepared you for it for your first 18 years. But their vision of your happiness may or may not be aligned with your interests and reward systems. If not, then as an adult, you get to “put aside” those childhood things and speak your own career truths.
The same is true in each and every aspect of your life, certainly your sexual preference because, well, it’s yours! Lol
But also religion, or spirituality, or metaphysics, or belief systems whose tenets you feel comfortable aligning your thoughts and actions with. In other words, YOU get to determine the all truths you will live your life by. I know it’s a lot to think about.
Having been brought up with ultra conservative Christian teachings, Ive walked the same path you are now walking. I watched my father sadistically humiliate my mother and punch her in the face, but he felt “good to go” because “Jesus Christ had died on the cross for his sins.” What the “washed in the blood” crowd doesn’t know, or chooses to ignore, is that Jesus never said, “Believe in me, and you will be saved.” The correct translation is: “Believe AS me, and you will be saved.”
Love one another.
Feed the hungry.
Care for the sick.
Live the golden rule.
Walk humbly with your God.
Have faith: if you can see it, you can do it.
Don’t worry. Trust your truths.
I will hold you in consciousness over the days ahead with thoughts of faith, strength, understanding and power.
PS. After many years of estrangement from my mother and father, and a lot of hard work on MY PART to forgive them, they took the initiative to invite me back into their lives. and we had a loving and fun adult relationship.
If you as a believer, know that you were made in God’s imagine, being gay is not sinful, disgusting or against God’s law. Accept that you are gay and be happy. Family should love you as you are. You need to love yourself
I hope you will soon be autonomous–a law unto yourself–so that you can be yourself. Stay strong.
Yes, I agree relax. You have plenty of time to figure out where you are going there is no rush. I am gay and i am almost 80. Christianity is dead wrong and is simply pushing a white male cultural value system that keeps white straight men on top literally and metaphorically. Jesus never said a single thing that could remotely imply all of the baggage that Christian churches have saddled any aspect of sexuality with. If you carefully read the Gospels I think you can make the case that Jesus was gay. He never married and the so called Last Supper story in the Gospel of John where Jesus takes off his clothes, he is naked, and he goes down to wash his disciples feet could possibly be metaphor for him showing love for his friends by giving them oral sex. Christian belief claims that Jesus was fully human and fully divine, you can not be fully human without sex albeit it gay straight, solo, so if nothing else Jesus masturbated and he had to fantasize about something.
That may seem crazy to you but be gentle with yourself and explore your feelings and get to know your body especially in regard to sexual pleasure and discern what actually arouses you and take pleasure in it. I have come to believe that my sexual partners are gifts from God. Anyway just take it easy
Carl, thank you soo much for your words of wisdom.
Being gay is not a sin my Christian brother.God made us perfect.When you look at a sexy buff dude with a 24cm cock does your wanker get hard?
All power to you. You might eventually realise that being gay is the best thing that happened to you. You deserve all the love and respect in the world. You will eventually realise that the only people that don’t accept you are bitter, hateful individuals. You don’t need them in your life.
being gay isnt an evil thing, ive been gay all my life and i am happy with who i am. my boyfriend loves me and i love him. give it a try and you may be the happiest you have ever been.
find a close friend like I have that you trust and will be friends with for the rest of your life. you should still date women and should marry and have children, but you should have a specal friend to get away with and enjoy man to man time. Peace
Mitch – I’m 66, gay, Jewish by birth, became a Christian at Uni at the age of 18. I prayed for a long time for God to change my sexuality, but He didn’t, and so I learned to accept that I’m gay and God loves me, whatever turns me on. It’s not an easy road but please remember – never turn away from God, He loves you for who you are and He created you to be uniquely you. And if you can’t tell the people around you, so be it – pray for God to bring people in your life who you can be more open with. I suspect there are thousands of us out there who are practising Christians who happen to be gay or lesbian. We’re all just a bit hidden from each other, sadly. God Bless.
Hey Mitch I know how you feel i was raised a Christian too but around 7th grade i started realizing men in a different way but it was hard for me to believe that i was gay. but then i started realizing that god loves everybody and if he was the true god they talk about in the bible then you’ll go to heaven. But if you think your gay come out to close they’ll love you no matter what but stay in your comfort zone dont think now that your gay you have to come out to the world take babysteps and you’ll be alright.