Have you ever wondered why some men are so intensely homophobic? Research suggests that homophobia might not just be about dislike or fear—it could hint at hidden desires. Studies show that some of the most vocal homophobes might harbor same-sex attractions themselves, even if they aren’t consciously aware of them. One groundbreaking study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that individuals who express strong anti-gay views often exhibit signs of same-sex arousal when tested in controlled settings. This suggests that their outward hostility might come from an internal conflict—denying or suppressing their true feelings. Psychologist Richard Ryan from the University of Rochester puts it simply: “If you feel a strong, visceral reaction to someone different, ask yourself, ‘Why?’ Those feelings could be a sign to explore your own inner truths.” Homophobia can also be learned from strict, authoritarian environments, especially ones that hold homophobic values. These influences, combined with personal repression, can lead to harmful behavior like bullying or hate crimes. By encouraging self-reflection, we can break down prejudice and open the door to greater understanding—not just of others but of ourselves. The HaPenis Project invites readers to explore these findings with curiosity and compassion, reminding us that authenticity and acceptance are keys to personal HaPenis. Source
This has been a known truth for a long time among gay men. Simply because it takes one to know one. Many gay men, especially late-in-life:ers have exerted some level of homophobia earlier in their lives, me included. But on some level I always knew that the first person I was trying to convince was myself. I wanted to create a world around me that was hostile to homosexuality because that would keep ME on the straight & narrow. Now I see it everywhere in others – although it should be said that homophobia has decreased significantly. As for those still cling to homophobia, no amount of calling out, or even extending a hand in friendship and understanding will help these people. They can only help themselves. – Ben T
A lad at work has been explaining his suspicions that his father is closeted gay. On to his third wife, the father seems to rush into new relationships through some desperate need to have an acknowledged female companion. Once married, the relationship soon sours, with accusations by the wife of being abandoned emotionally and romantically. When younger, the father liked to show off his moves on the dance floor, got his ears pierced, listened to Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and developed an obsession for Brad Pitt. One day, the second wife returned home unexpectedly to discover the man wearing her short leather skirt, apparently for an innocent comparison of size. With only one male friend, the father’s social circle is very limited and most of his attention goes towards his two chihuahuas.
The man frequently utters homophobic slurs and derides homosexual activity. After rumours circulated about men hooking up at his gym, he persistently raised the subject in conversation, while expressing horror that he might walk into the showers to find men having sex. In response to any suggestion that strong homophobia can be a mask for suppressed homosexual longings, the father flies into a rage that anyone dare doubt his sexual integrity.
Despite this background, the son has grown up to be a very balanced heterosexual, who is open and accepting towards people of different sexual orientations. Surprisingly, the father acted very reasonably when his son’s friends sent a prank text from the son’s phone, telling the father that his son wanted to come out as gay. Instead of the expected homophobic rant, the father responded calmly and caringly. Perhaps, after all, the father is aware of his own deeper longings and was relieved that his son could live a more open life?
My neighbour is a “card carrying” member of the Homophobic alpha male, 30’s something InCel crowd. He dishes out homophobic slurs & jokes, with all his new friends ( he never seems to keep friends longer than 3 months) All while Self medicating on a 12oz Flask of Vodka Cans of Ale & sessions of Cannabis on a daily basis…. His Vile outlook on life would worry me…had i not have caught him many times “entertaining” some of my Grindr buddies! It was Delicious to have the “Proof in The Pudding” LOL
Yes, i agree wholeheartedly that many Homophobic men are harbouring feelings that are scaring them. We as a Society should be more tolerant & respectful to each other. But hey i’m Preaching to the Choir here aren’t i.. Thank You Seb for the HaPenis Project, Your readers, All of Us, Appreciate this Forum for Open discussion & Love. -John ( just a Gay Mountie from Canada) Cheers Brothers 😀
I LOVE CANADA AND DETROIT IS SO CLOSE AND I LOVE YOU TOO!PRAY FOR PEACE AND GROSSE POINTES IS MY HOME
I believe incels are usually jealous of alpha males, a term itself born from bad science gone mainstream. Machismo men, who enjoy the ability to get women would more align with the alpha term. Incels, however, are a different kind of thing, a highly toxic thing. When they engage in homosexual activities, yet warped with homophobia, they become a volatile mess. I’ve had the misfortune of playing with one, and boy, when the guilt hits them after they get off with a guy. It can..well you don’t know if they are a threat to themselves or you.
This has been a known truth for a long time among gay men. Simply because it takes one to know one. Many gay men, especially late-in-life:ers have exerted some level of homophobia earlier in their lives, me included. But on some level I always knew that the first person I was trying to convince was myself. I wanted to create a world around me that was hostile to homosexuality because that would keep ME on the straight & narrow. Now I see it everywhere in others – although it should be said that homophobia has decreased significantly. As for those still cling to homophobia, no amount of calling out, or even extending a hand in friendship and understanding will help these people. They can only help themselves.
Thank You Ben for your words of wisdom
Quentin Crisp was letting people know that for a very long time
Yes absolutely.
Anyone spewing hate is advertising their own self loathing. Usually oblivious to it.
Thanks for the heads-up. I’m not surprised. Look forward to reading your post.
Every homophobe is in fact a closeted gay who has not accepted himself and who does not accept LOVE between people of the same sex.
Unfortunately, this non-acceptance represses them and causes immense damage to their soul and heart!
Loving another man and being free from fears, labels and especially criticism is liberating ✊🏼🏳️🌈
All the homophobes at school seemed to know far more about gay sexual practices and gay terminology than I did.