The HaPenis Project

Regarding older men enjoying sex with a much younger man, I have had some experience on both ends of this scenario. When I was in my 20’s I was “seduced” by one of my profs at university. I have that word in quotes because, although he was definitely encouraging my engagement, I knew I was a free agent and could decline at any time. But my curiosity was on fire so I followed his lead. He was ostensibly tutoring me at his place off campus, in “mature karst topography”, a branch of geology which studies underground limestone pillars, deep caverns and sinkholes. He taught me a great deal about pillars and deep caverns. He touched on some actual geology too. He was non-confrontational, a good listener and a believer in the teaching theory of visual example and learn by doing.
He opened a whole new world that I had no knowledge of, in a way that was respectful of my ignorance, yet unbelievably intense. Each moment with him is burned into my memory.
Years, decades pass and I’m a sexually active gay man living in the Gay Village. A friend and I were enjoying a drink at a popular leather bar, when I look across the room and see my geology prof! I was gobsmacked! I couldn’t let this moment slip away. I walked over to him, saying ‘I think we’ve met before, many years ago…’ I knew he wouldn’t remember me. I’m sure he enjoyed the company of many young men. I described his class in geology and a kind of surprised smile came across his face. I said, ‘I just want to thank you very much for the way you introduced me to a wonderful trip down the path less travelled.’ He smiled broadly and closed his eyes. When he opened them they were brimming with tears. He held my hand and kissed me on the cheek and I returned to my bud on the other side of the room.

That experience formed the template for my interactions with the men I met over the years, especially those young men who seem to be attracted to ‘daddy’ types. I made sure that I left every man in a better frame of mind, a more evolved understanding of himself and gay life. There were times when things didn’t work out in my favour, but it was the more responsible thing to do. Love, trust and consistency were embedded in my interactions with these young men, who were often taciturn and highly suspicious of everyone they met. They would often come back over months and years, I think because they knew me, knew they would enjoy themselves. Even now, after decades, I receive messages or bump into men on the street who are effusive in their compliments of times long since past! I’m always a little nonplussed but accept their kind words.

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”
-Sir Paul McCartney – Leo