I like anal and have been instructed by various men over the years and you are spot on with everything. I think that men exploring their own arse by themselves is a definite must, it puts them in control, removes any inhibitions of being with a partner, is not homo cos they’re on their own (like wanking your own cock would be homo too……?), frees them from the psychological stress of thinking “submissive” therefore less masculine, and will make them into hole men…. sorry that is whole men, who are not cummpletely phallocentric. However I have to say that your detailed and personal description had me hard and leaking the whole time I read this. I don’t know about you, whether you would go this far, but I find dildos feel like hard foreign objects. You describe realistic dildos as uncomfortable, and personally I feel that a good old genuine penis feels best to me and extremely different to a toy. So one more recommendation to add may be to warm whatever you want use, up to body temp before use. This will help with insertion. And if you choose to go down the penis path, it begins to reintroduce the psychological aspects. I think having another man inside my body is significantly different to hand and blow jobs, from a headspace point of view. Keep it up brother – ie don’t neglect your cock either!
phallocentric /ˌfalə(ʊ)ˈsɛntrɪk/ adjective, focused on or concerned with the phallus or penis as a symbol of male dominance.