Cock Dialogues

I would like a secretive mate I could trust talk pussy with and be a lad, but also to spend time nude with, sucking each other to completion and exploring male on male sex. Unfortunately it is hard to keep it secretive as most people say you have to come out as either gay or Bi if you are into that despite how much you love a woman. I guess, well I know it would also be unfaithful to any partner or wife. – Frustrated Fred

Fred you raise an important issue, faithfulness. Where is that line, particularly when we are talking about male bonding, including all sexual experiences between blokes whether on an ongoing basis, ie. some kind of ‘relationship’, or cumpletely casual, dollop n dash. Assuming the man is married to a woman say, as many who recount this desire here are, is the expansion of male sexuality damned as lustful philandering? Can men remain utterly faithful, albeit through a different lens than traditional marital union? I believe so. Some gay marriages have long been faithful, while being sexually open and adventurous. Some, are monogamous. So when men explore their sexuality, and I don’t believe that gay, bi, omni, or anything else should require a cumming out, it’s all valid expression of masculine sex. It’s also a part of men that being faithful to their wives, leaves confined and frustrated, a piece that no woman can satisfy within the marriage. I once knew a guy who adored his wife of 30yrs, he wouldn’t kiss though as that was his boundary for remaining faithful, it need not be that but his faithfulness was clear.
I have recently read a great book which I recommend like a religious zealot, it explores interlinked fictional relationships including a faithful/unfaithful man and his relationship with another man. The In-Between : Christos Tsiolkas. We get one go at this life, why live within only part of it. – Phil&Derer

Phil & Derer, Thank you so much for your reply. You sound very wise, very deep and intelligent. I agree we have one shot at life so we should do what we want to do and what we enjoy and need. But maybe a lot depends on our upbringing and the circle we have been born into or have made as friends. My family and friends are not very accepting of gay relationships or encounters. I have suffered with mental health in the past when I was hit with a bout of stress and depression. And I know that if I did something sexual with a male tHe guilt would eat away at me. If I was single it would be okay but being married it would feel different ans if my wife ever found out it would be the end of our wonderful marriage. Sexually I have a great relationship with my wife but I find that I still masturbate while thinking of another male. Also if I go swimming and have a shower afterwards and see another penis I am instantly aroused. – Frustrated Fred

Yes, I hear you and current cultures can make it complicated. However, I think you are very like so many men when you describe great sex with your wife, masturbation and finding penises arousing. Sadly, some men find that too confusing or shameful to even admit to themselves. – Phil&Derer