i need relief! every day is the constant battle with what i want.. and what i believe is right. In less than a month i will be an 19yr old with a deep secret. im afraid im gay…i have had a girlfriend for 18 months now and i cant connect with her. being raised a christian and still being one, i am so confused.. stretched.. lost… i dont know what to do, or where im at? i live in south brisbane australia and need answers. as all this is the biggest secret of my entire life, i keep discreet. plz help. Mitch
Hey Mitch. ”When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” — 1 Corinthians 13:11, King James Version. Buddy I’m afraid there’s no one who can help you, but you. homosexuality is as old as the human race. It’s a part of our species and it’s something you were born with. That being said, the only thing that’s wrong with you is your misguided beliefs. The only way for you to be happy is to accept this part of yourself. Accept it, absorb it, learn to love it, and as a result live your life to the fullest. If there are any words of Christ you should glum onto right now, it’s ”you reap what you sow”. If you sow unhappiness, you will be unhappy. If you sow doubt and fear, you will live a life of doubt and fear, yes? So shed them. Relish in your passions. Love and be loved. Love another man. Love several other men, if you want. Pray to your Lord, not for forgiveness, but for happiness and fulfillment. And when you one day die and stand before Him, you can hold you head high and say you lived your life to the fullest. You were a good man, a kind man, to the very best of your ability. And then you thank Him for the wonderful life that he bestowed on you. So, is it time for you to put away childish things, and become a man? – Ben
In this life we are answerable to only ourselves. live your life for you. do what makes you happy. in many years to come you will know you made the right decision. its hard when you think how family may react but even if they react badly you are still family they will understand in time. Remember, there is nowhere in the bible where it says homosexuality is wrong..only interpretations people put on it. you go mitch. i really do wish you all the best, i have been there myself you will get through it a stronger and better person..honest. – dave keeton
Mitch,
We have all been repressed by religions who teach us that loving another man is evil. This of course is an absurd, outright contradiction to Christ’s command that we love one another.
You are fortunate to live in a country and in a culture that will allow you to explore and define how you choose to love another man.
My suggestion is that you seek the help of a professional massuese who provides erotic massage. Hopefully you can find someone who is as keen as Hapenis Massage of London.
I was raised by a very, strict Sicilian Catholic mother. As much as I loved my mother, she fucked up my head sexualy. I had my first sexual experience having been seduced by an older boy when I was 15. Having never even kissed a girl, it was a combination of mind blowing, fascinating feeling and felt like nothing I’d ever experienced. Feeling him suck my cock and swallowing my load was so exhilarating. This of course was followed by guilt, fear, anxiety, confusion and even regret. Even though I continued to jerk off to the memory for years after.
I was 54 when I finally decided to take the plunge and my first M2M sex since that day was everything I expected. I was fortunate to have met a slightly older man who totally understood. After I sucked his beautiful cock, kissed, made out, fondling each other after we had both cum great loads, I was hooked. It took me a while to overcome those feelings that my mother had instilled in me. However, now at 71, I continue to enjoy great sex with men without any mental baggage. I often get compliments on my oral skills. I simply love sucking cock and swallowing. Even with no reciprocation. I love jerking off so have no problem with that. My only regret, I didn’t start sooner. I love this site. Reading all the posts and comments but mostly seeing all the handsome men and their beautiful cocks. Thanks to everyone for sharing and giving me such great bate fuel. Hugs, Don
Look all these people talk about the parable from the biblical truth ok all good but reality is that love your self , in this world self perseverance is time on itself , I learn that if you don’t love yourself how in the hell are you going to love any body else as rupaul Charles said . It’s a process but time is a thief and enemy , if you don’t have the time to get your house in order because today is the day to start caring about you nobody else , why waste time and energy to have your feelings hurt and your self esteem stamped on, it’s a waste of time , and being alone has not made you or anyone else die , being alone and without someone has a disadvantage you can move more freely , and for the time on this earth volunteer to help youngsters and some elders to relax and listen to them , they have lived but you must step forward and make your life that has meaning….
Such a great question, Mitch, which as you can see from the wonderful answers you’ve already received is something many of us have had to wrestle with and ultimately answer for ourselves.
Enjoying pleasure is a natural part of being alive in a body. Enjoying sex is no more “sinful” than enjoying food, or music, or sunshine. You can’t have a body without pleasure and its opposite, pain. Pleasure is not sinful (ie not a mistake.) The mis-step is attachment to pleasure (and the objects of pleasure.) Such attachment causes causes pain. Eat too much and we get sick. Obsess too much about sex and we can’t think about anything else. Attachment is addiction, and addiction keeps us bound and prevents us from knowing higher truth. Higher truth (“God”) is beyond all pairs of opposites. Don’t get stuck in one place or another. Find the middle path, and keep moving. Remember, the kingdom of heaven lies within you. Enjoy the world and its pleasures, but don’t become attached to anything.
That which is off-limits will always attract us. Your fear of your same-sex attraction is doubtless only strengthening it. Resistance is a form of attachment. As psychologist Carl Jung observed: “That which you resist persists.” Accept yourself as you are right now, with all your wierdness and confusion, and love yourself, exactly as you are. As Jesus said “Love God, and love others.” Where else will you find God, if not within you? And if not now, when?
There has never been anything sinful in pleasure, wherever we find it, whatever form it takes… as long as your pleasure does not harm others. Those who would tell us otherwise are only trying to control us by making us feel shame.
From what you’ve written, your worst “sin” is lying to your girlfriend. Yes, occasionally lying can be justified when it avoids causing pain to others, or prevents a greater harm, but in general I suggest that deceiving others is not in alignment with the teachings of Jesus.
Mitch until you embrace your own sexuality and live in your truth you will never be the person who you want to be. I’m not saying that you should out yourself but that you shouldn’t have to hide who you are to anyone. Jesus Christ said to love one another but he didn’t say anything about you and a woman or who. Just to Love and to be loved in return. Just don’t let yourself be caught up in acts of gratuitous sex. Have meaningful sexual relationships and encounters. I was outed at 16 an being Catholic and it was not easy until I came out to my parents and my siblings. You will find that if they know you are a whole weight will be lifted from your shoulders and they will come to terms with who you are! Friends that are your friends will love you for you not for who they want you to be. I’m speaking from experience and being almost 65 in a few weeks I am very proud of myself and who I am as a person. Listen to Dame Shirley Bassey sing “ I am who I Am “ you will never find a better version of this song than how she sings it. I’ve made it my personal Anthem for lifting my spirits up in my heart and soul for being who I am! You may contact me if you wish at ( (douid2000@yahoo.com). Have a Blessed and Wonderful life being YOU.
Love to all brother men.
Many ancient and current cultures do not differentiate on “sexuality”.
In fact, some celebrate those who are “different” as everyone has a role in society.
Grew up Catholic. Ministered to disabled and the poor like Mother Theresa.
I always knew Jesus did not ever feel any of the bs I learned by age 14.
I left the church and kept my faith.
A grown up decision made by a coming of age 14 year old guy.
We are God like.
Therefore, we are Gods.
Men are Gods.
I’m 71. I was raised by a very, strict, Sicilian catholic. My mind was really screwed up from it. I’m classified as Bi because I like both men and women. My first gay experience was at 15. I waited until I was 54 to act on it. Don’t be like me. Don’t let religion dictate who you really are and what you want. People are going to judge you no matter what you do or say. Be it gay, trans, or whatever the hell it is. Personally, I would seek a good, unbiased, openminded counselor. It will take a lot of courage to face the facts. It did me, and I regret waiting so long. Now, I thoroughly enjoy sex with men and the guilt has since gone. It just takes time, but don’t wait my friend. Face it now and have a long, healthy, pleasant life. Hugs, Don
At this time you should not be afraid of being gay. If you are having these feelings now you most likely always will most of us feel we were born this way.
It is not fair or moral to marry to have a family and have someone on the side male or female unless the person you marry agrees to this arrangement.
Be true to yourself for your future happiness. Just an old man’s opinion.
Hey Mitch, your words “I’m afraid I’m gay” struck me…..
please don’t be afraid and maybe for now ditch labelling yourself as gay.
Think of yourself as a man who is finding his way sexually on what many of us now know to be a spectrum, the old bell curve. Binary opposites are a construct that has had its time.
And lastly, this picture is an old fave, hope it helps.
I have been in the same position as you and found it very difficult but stay in the closet it may be this is not the girl for you but be patient, treat your Girlfriend with kindness and respect it maybe just a false alarm, take your time to work things out ,