As a boy I thought all straight men wanted to kill me. This false idea lead me to avoid friendships with straight guys and be closeted around them. I learned as an adult exactly what you describe brother, that straight men and I had everything but sexuality in common. That they could be kind and caring too. That they had some of the same insecurities as myself. That they could be loyal and loving friends. We bonded over our love of cars and mechanics and adrenaline rushes. I learned that straight men can completely respect me and love me for who I am. I wish more gay men would discover this. Give it a chance. You might be surprised as I was. I learned in the company of other men how little our sexuality, at times, was even a factor in life to us. And then at other times, like you describe, the sexual flirting and remarks in good fun were very nice because it affirmed who I was to them and was their way of expressing their respect. I would no more consider physical contact than I would with a sibling. The sexual experiences always came from male straight friends of friends or relatives of friends. Never actual bros. We are all brothers as human men. John N
