I’ve been looking at your site for some years now and am not getting any younger (74). My last sexual experience was back in the nineties and I haven’t had an intimate encounter since then. I get a lot of inspiration from your site which can help with my occasional solo efforts but, never having been that sexually active, I have kept myself to myself, live alone and only have a few friends. I now find that I’m extremely apprehensive about writing this message to you and confess that is a great effort (will I press the ‘send’ button at the end?!! – The reason I am writing now is that I’m having great trouble sleeping properly and I’m wondering if this is at all attributable to my sexual frustration. Of course I’m gay and, being older, this really makes things a lot worse. Older people are simply not supposed to be gay! – I do believe this message will get a sympathetic reading and look forward to hearing whether you might be able to advise. Thanks, John
Dear John, I am 70 years old and it warmed my heart to read your message. As we get older in many ways we become invisible, certainly we are not expected to be sexual. I live a life of sexual spirituality and now have many young LGBT friends who treat me like a wise elder, I am happy for their youth but even they see me as ‘past it’ in terms of being capable of intimacy. I too wish for people my own age who have the maturity and honesty to share the pleasures of life still. I wish you well and hope that you find the intimate companionship that I know is out there somewhere if only we could be more open to it. – Ciaran
Hi John, yes certainly a good response here. I think that at 74 you are not supposed to be anything, you are simply yourself. I would point out you’re a man and clearly wanting more sexuality in your life. First I would step up your solo sexual activities to be more regular and pleasurable. It is an important piece of life to feel like a man, depression robbed me of the ability to be solo sexual until my dr gave me some small pills to liven the HaPenis! Does wonders for your inner masculinity, along with Seb’s library of gods and a good wank every night does wonders for your sleep, prostate and general wellbeing.
After this you should be feeling more like some naked and sexual time with some other men, a sensual male massage as suggested above which gay and straight men enjoy…… we are all just men. Find yourself a guy to wank with, you don’t have to commit to more than that but, it could lead to more and an intimacy and sexual bond that we all really desire.
I’m a lot like you but back in the nineties sure beats me! I hope you get loads more helpful suggestions of support.
agree 100%
Hi Bumchum. What sort of pills? I’m in a downward spiralling trough. My doc just put me on blood pressure pills which have made things worse.
We guys tend to get more bisexual and gay as we get older and are denied sex with women. I am 86, gay and love sex with men. I am not ashamed about that and celebrate my gayness whenever I can. I have a lot of guy gays as frriends and find plenty of opportunities to get naked with them
Chris,
I’d love to celebrate with you anytime.
I sympathise with you…..I am nearing 70 and also find that I worry a lot about how I am perceived. I have had a very active sex life with multiple partners on occasion so cannot complain. But you do not mention whether you have any medical issues? Or whether you still manage to get an erection?
Have you always been a loner? Have you ever had a partner? There is still time for you to get out there are meet people, join gay clubs there are loads out there. Even writing your email shows that you are willing to try.
Best wishes for the future.
Dick.
At 84 your story is mine. In a decade you can save your self, your health and your sexuality if you stay active. Find ways to volunteer for the rainbow community, you will find honest companionship will come your way!
Hi John,
I’m 59 and met my 71 y/o boyfriend on SilverDaddies. We are both married to women and also “not supposed to be gay”. We are now in a dedicated relationship going on 5 years. Stop procrastinating and start mingling. Life is too short. I assume you don’t realize how many men fine mature men extremely attractive in ways that have nothing to do with the beauty typically associated with youth. You have a lot to offer. Please make an effort to share it.
Well done for posting you comments John. Mmm This website does so much good for our well being
Sending love to John xx
John
Thanks for your courage I am 64 and hoping to meet a man of 70 very soon
I am nervous and excited at the the thought of my new adventure snd your words have encouraged me even more !
Enjoy
Dear John, You are certainly not getting any younger that why you have to start today. Do a goggle search for men’s shed project near you, and just start getting out. Once you do that, everything else will just follow. Make sure you start today.
Good Luck,
Old Brother!
Dear John, I agree, start now, do a google for sensual male massage, book the masseur that can see you the soonest. If you are in London, you should try Mr Cox
hi Man .. well u lived accordingly your vision
i did the same about steady relationships on my ´50 , i stop !
but have been active regoularly according my appetites 1 day a week more or less so ,
now my last one sex date last july 22 with an escort .. i am looking for just some sex , something simple touch and a little more if worthy , but not the whole service .. it was not my cup of tea not even when youger …well at 80 it gets hard to get something !
Thank you so much for your comment. I have found them all very kind and considerate.
John