ƂUᴉLᴉƎƆ ƎꞍꞱ UO ƂUᴉɅᴉL

I used to go on the Gay scene but have found nothing but hurt and emotional pain. I wouldn’t mind so much if I was the one who started the one night stand, but it’s always seems to be them, and I, bloody hard work to pick-up and even harder to get me into bed! That’s why after what seems a lifetime of hurt and lies, I will never go on the scene again. My so called mates don’t seem to understand that enough is enough and I find those bars emotionally dangerous for me. So i’m on a new journey now of meeting and discussing and also laughing with other like minded gay men in a completely different environment. I really do hope I get accepted, as something inside me knows it will be the life changing experience I’ve been searching for (over the net 6 months) other gay/ bi/ straight men who are also of a similar mind. Sorry for any bad grammar and spelling mistakes, I had to write this from the heart straight away. Warm regards, – Chris

Hello Chris, Fully agree with you about the gay scene. I feel really sorry for young men, who are just coming out and trying the gay scene for the first time. I have meet many who have been totally fucked up, both mentally and physically by the drugs, and the exploitation involved in the scene. Why is the “gay community” not speaking out about this?

But there is hope. A new scene is emerging, In London for example there are

Men In Touch, who run massage workshops and events for men.

OutdoorLads, the UK’s largest outdoor activities group for gay, bi and trans guys.

Buffs: Gay Men’s Movie Meetup with cinema and other events where gay and bi men can come together, share in the fun and make new friends.

Thank you for these words. I realised long ago that no matter how hard I tried, not to be me, that I would never fit into the scene. I have no idea if this is a gay ‘thing’ but from the outside looking in the obsessions about sex, the body beautiful or superficial point scoring always set the bar too high. I have Spina Bifida, not severely, but enough to have left my body with plenty of surgical scarring, a wonky walk and complications with my waterworks. Meeting guys on line fills me with terror because eventually there will have to be the big reveal – which has gone horribly wrong a number of times. So as I’ve resigned myself to being alone, I figured I’d better start liking myself and finding out what is important to me. Exploring my spirituality, more recently Buddhism and especially chanting has helped me discover I have a place in this world. I have a choice; to either engage fully with life or withdraw from it. I’ve chosen to explore and enjoy. The big, fabulous gay scene that I was so desperate to be part of; I can now see, is a pretty shallow and restricting masquerade. Instead of trying to live a life, I’m now actually living it. – Mrmas