A study in Psychology Today, found a great misconception about men’s masturbating habits is that if they’re in a sexually healthy relationship, they’ll masturbate less. However this isn’t the case. “Masturbation isn’t a feeble substitute for sex with a partner — a common belief I hear often in treatment. If this were true, men and women who have active sex lives would be expected to masturbate less frequently than persons without partners, yet research finds little correlation between frequency of masturbation and frequency of intercourse. For the masturbator with a strict routine, it seems, even frequent sex with a new partner isn’t enough to derail a schedule once it’s firmly entrenched: If you’re a once-before-going-to-sleep kind of guy, that’s probably going to continue even if you’ve spent all weekend in bed with someone else. Shelton goes on to highlight another study, which found college students who masturbated frequently also had sex more frequently. “While masturbation may indeed be a substitute for single people and those whose partners eschew sexual activity,” he concludes, “it is also an integral behavior in the sexual repertoire for many who already have satisfying sex lives.”So people who masturbate a lot don’t necessarily do it because they can’t get sex — they just really like doing it. Psychology Today
My masturbation is barely linked to sex or libido. It makes me feel good, it allows me to relax. When I am sick, it actually makes me feel better. I am married and we have low sex life. I even get to see from my past relationships that I don’t need so much sex, I don’t seek it a lot. I was “dumped” after several dates because I had not yet done the male thing of asking for sex. Because for me the talks, the interactions, the rapport, were good enough. I have thought for years that I had a high libido and that masturbation was a way to run it. I now realise I don’t have a huge sex drive. Not even average, But I love the relationship I have with my penis, the intimacy, the special feeling when it grows and I can “feel it properly”. I masturbate because it is a nice way to treat myself, to get to accept myself as I am.
Since I accepted the bare fact that I enjoy masturbation on its own, not as a sexual activity, I have felt better in myself. I am happier, more relaxed, more understanding of others, caring, empathic even. It is strange, or is it really? that by accepting myself as I am, I accept others better, built deeper, stronger rapports and am in a better relationship with my life partner.
Masturbation is natural, it is a part of who and what I am and it accepting it fully in my married life has made me a better person.
If you have a high sex drive, you’ll do more of both. I often find myself masturbating just because my significant other has a lower sex drive. (One reason she lets me jerk off with other guys.)
But remember, the most important thing is not how much, but how close you are to each other.