11 thoughts on “Just Mates

  1. I couldn’t agree more, with the original poster. I’ve spent over 20 years studying male-male interaction through a variety of past societies. I have concluded that the more stable societies, those with a successful* male work force, military, sports teams and other men only associations, were the ones that flourished over centuries, as opposed to short-lived aggregations with systemic barriers, whether stated or baked in, for men to gather in any significant way.
    Our own tepid attempts at such gatherings is looked on with disdain, as politically incorrect. This slide into “equality” started with the early main stream church, particularly RC.
    Doctrines and dogma were fabricated out of whole cloth, with no basis in the original scriptures, in order to keep the male population cut off from their brothers to prevent any growth of deeper attachment, exchange of very personal feelings and ideas. Men are stronger together than as separate entities.
    Yes, I know this sounds like fantastic, magical thinking. But try hard to step outside the box and view the big picture. Look around and see the malaise of men in the 21st century. They have no idea who they are! Very easy for a government to manipulate. Men need men.

    No major change in society has has ever been achieved without completely ignoring the current narrative. I’m hardly suggesting a coup d’etat. What I’m saying is that men must take the initiative themselves, to create community for their brothers. No institution is going to do it for you. This site is a successful example of just that.

    * Successful in terms of one’s life (being grounded, motivated to improve and to help other do so, self reflection, relationships, being a part of something larger than yourself, etc.) In other words, everything other than finances and status.

  2. Bonding between men is very important for their mental and physical health. Men’s brains work as a collective source of wisdom and technology. Having a mate who can tell you how to fix a problem on your car, or advice on painting a room, or how to measure for the best sized cock ring is as important as a bloke you can rub one out with. Have a beer, talk pussy, have a laugh and suck his cock. All admirable qualities in a best mate.

    1. So very true, I would a secretive mate I could trust talk pussy with and be a lad, but also to spend time nude with, sucking each other to completion and exploring male on male sex.
      Unfortunately it is hard to keep it secretive as most people say you have to come out as either gay or Bi if you are into that despite how much you love a woman.
      I guess, well I know it would also be unfaithful to any partner or wife.

    2. Fred you raise an important issue, faithfulness. Where is that line, particularly when we are talking about male bonding, including all sexual experiences between blokes whether on an ongoing basis, ie. some kind of ‘relationship’, or cumpletely casual, dollop n dash. Assuming the man is married to a woman say, as many who recount this desire here are, is the expansion of male sexuality damned as lustful philandering? Can men remain utterly faithful, albeit through a different lens than traditional marital union? I believe so. Some gay marriages have long been faithful, while being sexually open and adventurous. Some, are monogamous.
      So when men explore their sexuality, and I don’t believe that gay, bi, omni, or anything else should require a cumming out, it’s all valid expression of masculine sex. It’s also a part of men that being faithful to their wives, leaves confined and frustrated, a piece that no woman can satisfy within the marriage.
      I once knew a guy who adored his wife of 30yrs, he wouldn’t kiss though as that was his boundary for remaining faithful, it need not be that but his faithfulness was clear.
      I have recently read a great book which I recommend like a religious zealot, it explores interlinked fictional relationships including a faithful/unfaithful man and his relationship with another man.
      The In-Between : Christos Tsiolkas. We get one go at this life, why live within only part of it.

    3. Phil & Derer, Thank you so much for your reply. You sound very wise, very deep and intelligent.
      I agree we have one shot at life so we should do what we want to do and what we enjoy and need. But maybe a lot depends on our upbringing and the circle we have been born into or have made as friends.
      My family and friends are not very accepting of gay relationships or encounters.
      I have suffered with mental health in the past when I was hit with a bout of stress and depression. And I know that if I did something sexual with a male tbe guilt would eat away at me. If I was single it would be okay but being married it would feel different ans if my wife ever found out it would be the end of our wonderful marriage.
      Sexually I have a great relationship with my wife but I find that I still masturbate while thinking of another male. Also if I go swimming and have a shower afterwards and see another penis I am instantly aroused.

    4. Yes, I hear you and current cultures can make it complicated. However, I think you are very like so many men when you describe great sex with your wife, masturbation and finding penises arousing. Sadly, some men find that too confusing or shameful to even admit to themselves.

  3. I would add the word “sexual” between “societal” and “barriers” in the last sentence of Hari Shishna’s inspiring statement to emphasise the fact, beautifully illustrated in the photos HaPenis has chosen to illustrate the text, that male bounding, without any doubt to my mind, always involves sexual attraction, which men should always feel free to respond to, in the best of all possible worlds.

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