7 thoughts on “I Left The Gay Community

  1. I’m a 62-year-old gay man, and all I can say is that the examples presented aren’t representative of my community.
    Throughout my life, I’ve met many gay people whose lives have been made miserable by straight people and bullied.
    All I can say is that if you have those kinds of straight friends, you’re a very, very lucky man.

  2. As a boy I thought all straight men wanted to kill me.
    This false idea lead me to avoid friendships with straight guys and be closeted around them.
    I learned as an adult exactly what you describe brother, that straight men and I had everything but sexuality in common. That they could be kind and caring too.
    That they had some of the same insecurities as myself. That they could be loyal and loving friends. We bonded over our love of cars and mechanics and adrenaline rushes. I learned that straight men can completely respect me and love me for who I am.
    I wish more gay men would discover this. Give it a chance. You might be surprised as I was. I learned in the company of other men how little our sexuality, at times, was even a factor in life to us. And then at other times, like you describe, the sexual flirting and remarks in good fun were very nice because it affirmed who I was to them and was their way of expressing their respect. I would no more consider physical contact than I would with a sibling. That would be “incest”.
    The sexual experiences always came from male straight friends of friends or relatives of friends. Never actual bros.
    We are all brothers as human men.

  3. “YOU CAN TAKE THE BOY OUT OF THE COUNTRY BUT YOU CAN”T TAKE……..”
    YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE THE GAY ” COMUNITY” IN SOME FORM BUT YOU DO NOT E V A LEAVE ALL OF GAY LIFE OR SEXUALITY.
    I KNOW PEOPLE, EVEN PARENTS OF KIDS WHO HAVE TRIED TO DEFY THEIR TRUE NATURE AND THEY HAVE ACCOMPLISHED ONLY SCREWING UP THEIR HEADS AND MINDS FOR DECADES.

    NOW AT THE AGE OF ALMOST 80 YEARS, I SURVIVED THE 50’S TO THE PRESENT TIME AND AN OFTEN NASTY AND HOMOPHOBIC, LATE FATHER… AND AGAINGST HIS WISHES I BECAME A STAR PERFORMER IN MY FIELD, TRAVELING TO EVERY CONTINENT ON EARTH. I WAS MARRIED HETEROSEXUALLY TWICE AND PARTNERED HOMOSEXUALLY 5 TIMES.
    SOMEHOW I ACCEPTED MY SEXUALITY AS SEX WITHOUT QUESTION AND AT THE AGE OF 7 YRS I KNEW THAT I WAS WHAT WE NOW CALL GAY, ALTHOUGH THE WORD GAY DID NOT EXIST TO DESCRIBE GAY PEOPLE AT THAT TIME,,,,

    SO THIS WORD AND MANY MORE , WORDS, LABELS AND DESCRIPTIONS DID NOT EXIST FOR US. AND WE AS GAY MEN AT THE TIME SHOOK THEM OFF AND FOR MANY OF US THEY WERE SHAKEN OFF FOREVER
    THIS WAS TYPICAL OF OUR TIMES, JUST LIKE MEN NOT BEING ALLOWED TO WEAR BATHING SUITS IN PUBLIC POOLS (FOR HEALTH REASONS) FOR MUCH OF MY LIFE.
    I AM HAPPY I WAS BORN IN 1944.
    DOUG

  4. This is my experience as well. I have never been shunned or chided by straight men for my sexuality. On the contrary, most of them are curious and want to know how it works. I’m a very masculine presence, and that makes them feel secure in their own manhood. The questions I get range from anything about sex to emotions and relationships. I also get asked a lot of political questions.
    Most times my answers both surprise and comfort straight men because they realize that outside the bedroom, I’m no different from them. A few of the straight men I hang out with have practically engaged in full-on platonic bromance with me. Nothing sexual at all, but they gladly make jokes full of sexual innuendo, and even very graphic homoerotic jokes and comments that involve themselves in a sexual situation with me etc, – and they do it in front of each other without shame. I’m their buffer and no words can describe how grateful I am towards them for being so relaxed and inclusive. We really live in a great time era to be homo.

    1. As ever Ben. Beautifully expressed and perfectly balanced. Men like to belong and finding common ground is very reassuring. It’s wonderful to be accepted as “one of the boys”. There is great affirmation to be respected by men, amongst men, gay, str8, bi or fluid.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 256 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here