Thinking Of Jesus

A Pastor in A Baptist Church in the US has ordered older Christian Men to Only Think About Jesus While Masturbating. The church has recently lowered the allowable age of masturbation to 65 for recent widowers. “We really had no choice,” noted a tired and distraught Pastor Deacon Fred. We don’t ignore the parts we don’t like, as the John 3:16 pseudo-Christians do, nor do we add to the Bible, like those Pope-loving Catholics. The new policy is not without its limitations, however. “While the Bible does not outlaw masturbation, it severely restricts the circumstances under which it may occur,” noted Pastor Deacon Fred. The first restriction is that no gentleman will be permitted to reach the stage of ejaculation. “The Bible is very clear that a man’s seed is for copulation only,” noted Pastor. Source

I thoroughly enjoy this site. As a Christian, I hope this site doesn’t follow the path of so many others in mocking – and ultimately attacking – Christians and Christianity. The post above is not legitimate. I grew up in a fundamentalist church in the 60s, 70s and 80s. We were never taught that masturbation was sinful. I actually learned to masturbate at church camp in 1977. Of course it wasn’t part of the camp curriculum … just something the boys did in the shower room at night. (Sort of a “look what I can do” thing.) My Baptist Sunday School teacher in 10th grade told us boys that masturbation was fine as long as it didn’t take over our lives and as long as we did it solo. In college in the 80s my girlfriend found a pamphlet from the 50s called, “Masturbation, God’s Gift.” It was written by a Baptist pastor and praised masturbation as a way to avoid fornication. As I struggled with my sexuality in my adult years and my frequent masturbation, a Methodist pastor told me not to stress and that, even though he was married, he still masturbated. We Christians are human. We struggle with the flesh, as we seek to honor and serve God. Please let this site be a safe place for us too. Tommy Brent