I would like a secretive mate I could trust talk pussy with and be a lad, but also to spend time nude with, sucking each other to completion and exploring male on male sex. Unfortunately it is hard to keep it secretive as most people say you have to come out as either gay or Bi if you are into that despite how much you love a woman. I guess, well I know it would also be unfaithful to any partner or wife. – Frustrated Fred
Fred you raise an important issue, faithfulness. Where is that line, particularly when we are talking about male bonding, including all sexual experiences between blokes whether on an ongoing basis, ie. some kind of ‘relationship’, or cumpletely casual, dollop n dash. Assuming the man is married to a woman say, as many who recount this desire here are, is the expansion of male sexuality damned as lustful philandering? Can men remain utterly faithful, albeit through a different lens than traditional marital union? I believe so. Some gay marriages have long been faithful, while being sexually open and adventurous. Some, are monogamous. So when men explore their sexuality, and I don’t believe that gay, bi, omni, or anything else should require a cumming out, it’s all valid expression of masculine sex. It’s also a part of men that being faithful to their wives, leaves confined and frustrated, a piece that no woman can satisfy within the marriage. I once knew a guy who adored his wife of 30yrs, he wouldn’t kiss though as that was his boundary for remaining faithful, it need not be that but his faithfulness was clear.
I have recently read a great book which I recommend like a religious zealot, it explores interlinked fictional relationships including a faithful/unfaithful man and his relationship with another man. The In-Between : Christos Tsiolkas. We get one go at this life, why live within only part of it. – Phil&Derer
Phil & Derer, Thank you so much for your reply. You sound very wise, very deep and intelligent. I agree we have one shot at life so we should do what we want to do and what we enjoy and need. But maybe a lot depends on our upbringing and the circle we have been born into or have made as friends. My family and friends are not very accepting of gay relationships or encounters. I have suffered with mental health in the past when I was hit with a bout of stress and depression. And I know that if I did something sexual with a male tHe guilt would eat away at me. If I was single it would be okay but being married it would feel different ans if my wife ever found out it would be the end of our wonderful marriage. Sexually I have a great relationship with my wife but I find that I still masturbate while thinking of another male. Also if I go swimming and have a shower afterwards and see another penis I am instantly aroused. – Frustrated Fred
Yes, I hear you and current cultures can make it complicated. However, I think you are very like so many men when you describe great sex with your wife, masturbation and finding penises arousing. Sadly, some men find that too confusing or shameful to even admit to themselves. – Phil&Derer
Enjoy Fellows!
The concept of faithfulness is important within a committed relationship. On the Hapenis Project, many married men raise concerns about being unfaithful should they engage in sexual activities with other men. Misgivings are even expressed where marital sexual relations have ceased as a result of the wife’s loss of desire. Different men have different notions of what it means to remain faithful. For some, being unfaithful would include masturbating or looking at pornography. For others, the cross-over into unfaithfulness would start at kissing a man, mutual masturbation, oral sex or anal penetration.
Yet, sex is just one factor in a committed and faithful relationship. A hard-working man remains faithful to his wife and kids by hauling himself out of bed every morning to slog at some construction-site, warehouse or office. He remains faithful by providing a home, food, clothing and security. He expresses faithfulness through giving his love, attention, care and time. Also, marriage does not confer ownership over the other person’s body. During marital intercourse, a woman has the right to withdraw consent at any point and the man must immediately stop. Similarly, the man’s body remains his own property to use as he deems appropriate. As long as his actions are not harming anyone else, a man is surely free to use his own body for self-pleasure and self-expression?
As such, remaining faithful is not just about sex, and a man enjoying his own body beyond the confines of marriage is not necessarily being unfaithful. Each man is free to decide for himself, based on his own conscience and moral precepts.
This is a truly complicated issue and one I have wrestled with as a man in a long-term committed marriage to a woman I love and who I still love to have sex with. At the same time, my erotic interest in cock and homosexuality is undeniable.
As for faithfulness I feel that one of the important distinctions not mentioned in the comments above is the partner’s knowledge/acceptance of the man’s actions. No doubt there are some women who are comfortable telling their husband to go find sex where he wants to, there are even some who will help him find it and will want to watch. On the other end of the spectrum are women who clearly would consider sex with another person, regardless of sex, outside the marriage to be infidelity and a breach of the marriage. This is a fair description of my situation.
Where it gets tricky for many men is when the wife does not want sex any longer and then expects her husband to be involuntarily celibate. Or when the woman wants sex infrequently and expects that to be “enough” for the man – meaning a tacit expectation that the man will not masturbate. In my way of thinking this approach from a man’s partner is really problematic.
1 want to meet the guy at the end of the bed….i lust after him!!!
Yes, that cock! Does it come from this planet??