Coming Out (Of The Darkness)

I too have a wonderful wife who maintains a wonderful family life that I treasure. There are absolutely no secrets between my wife and myself.The marvelous thing for me is that since I first saw a man at a naturist resort who moved me I didn’t do what I have often done with women who arouse me. With women unfortunately I throw caution to the wind and experience temporary amnesia forgetting all the dangers associated with losing self control. With men I think about the reality and the consequences of telling someone I will be their friend. I too enjoy the HaPenis Blog immensely. I am aroused and sober minded. A step in the right direction. – Alan

Wow, I’m 60 and wish I could have this experience. I’ve been trying to deal with my feelings for over 40 years. I’m married and have a beautiful wife and two beautiful daughters. But I’ve been missing something in my life to complete me. I wish I could find a married man my age who feels the same way. I’m glad I found your site. Dean

Dean, It’s become crystal clear that finding emotional support from another man is of critical importance. The roadblock has always been the fear of intimate physical contact together with the suppression of a deep need to bond with another man. When I was young I was very attractive. I had several extremely brutal, uninvited, unwelcome encounters with older men. This site has helped me to slowly chip away at the barriers that have prevented me from letting go of my greatest fears about my ability to resist other men’s attempts to control me. I now realize that finding a man to love, encourage and befriend is a noble goal. For the time being reading the posts from other men who are on the same journey out of the darkness is very nice indeed. If I lived in the UK all of this would be much simpler. The US is in a state of confusion that is unfathomable. Here men who hate and kill other men are deeply admired and showcased. Best to you, Dean. I wish you good fortune in the near future. Alan

11 Replies to “Coming Out (Of The Darkness)”

  1. The first man I met to give him head was a deacon in his church, a lawyer, and married for over thirty years to a beauty queen. After chatting a little, I felt safe and without guilt taking his penis in my mouth. I asked him how he came to be meeting other men for sex, and he said when his church was looking for a Youth Pastor one of the most favored applicants was gay, and this caused a lot of consternation in the congregation. He felt that to be fair and make a good decision he should learn what “gay” was about. He visited a gay sauna, first just watching, and then returned and offered his cock to men there. He began visiting another gay bath with an outdoor pool where men hung out and enjoyed brotherhood.

    He embraced his discovery. Years before he had brutally pressed a case against a lesbian worker, and he went and found her again and apologized to both her and her lawyer. He was a leader in international scouting, and over the years became intimate friends with other leaders in different countries.

    I feel like HaPenis provides a safe just like the one he opened, with more risk (and reward) when he first visited bathhouses. I have carefully chosen men to suck and studiously avoided the masculinity that is everywhere here at HaPenis–but I return over and over again. I feel the same is happening with me, that my sexuality is being revealed to me, little by little. I’m no longer “just” a cocksucker, but a lover of the beauty of cocks and the masculinity behind them.

    Thank you!

  2. And Alan, on the subject of male violence towards men in the context of gay relationships, you should watch “God’s Own Country” (2017), a gorgeous British film set in northern England. It’s on Amazon Prime. I tear up every time I watch it.

  3. Reading Dean’s and Alan’s stories is so poignant. I am also married to wonderful woman, and we have two adult daughters. I’ve known that I’m gay for ever, it seems, but was very afraid to come out. Went to baths when I was in college, but married anyway — I thought marriage would “cure” me. I’d hook up with gay married friends from time to time, but we all knew it would go nowhere. I’d stopped having sex with my wife. I finally came out to my wife after seeing Brokeback Mountain — alone. That movie was devastating for me, and I was certain I’d go crazy if I didn’t come out to my wife. We’ve remained very close and affectionate friends; I assured her that I would not leave her. No one else in my family knows. I’m 77 years old now, and though I certainly can’t say that I regret my marriage and children, I realize now how much I long for a male lover friend of about my age. Im so thankful for this blog
    Mike

    1. Wow my friend that is a powwrful story. I have never commented on any sttory before. I think you are an amazing man. I never worried for one second about coming out. It breaks me to kbow that some men have to hide the deep intimate feeling for so long. You chose to do that until your seventies? What a burden you have carried. I truly hope you find a man to enjoy you golden years with. You deserve that, it sounds like you gave many people a beautiful life. Its your turn! Do not waste one second!

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