Samuel Ullman (1840–1924)

It is not a matter of red cheeks, red lips and supple knees. It is a temper of the will; a quality of the imagination; a vigor of the emotions; it is a freshness of the deep springs of life. Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over a life of ease. This often exists in a man of fifty, more than in a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years; people grow old by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair—these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust. Whether seventy or sixteen, there is in every being’s heart a love of wonder; the sweet amazement at the stars and starlike things and thoughts; the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing childlike appetite for what comes next, and the joy in the game of life. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair. In the central place of your heart there is a wireless station. So long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, grandeur, courage, and power from the earth, from men and from the Infinite—so long are you young. When the wires are all down and the central places of your heart are covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then are you grown old, indeed!

capote kəˈpəʊt/Submit nounNORTH AMERICANhistorical a long cloak or coat with a hood, worn especially as part of an army or company uniform.

the power of masculinity

Hello Seb, I was brought up a catholic and i think that is where i get a lot of my “spiritual” beliefs from. Unlike many i love the “catholic” spirit but as i got older an more significantly as i became more aware of my sexuality my beliefs changed……to cut a long story short……i do like to consider my “spiritual” but not in the theoretical sense. For me spirituality is about connecting the following (which aren’t in any order of priority)

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1.  I believe in the power of masculinity.  I have lived with women but am gay. For me men only need men to survive (except for having children..lol)  I believe that men are superior in terms of their mental, physical, spiritual, emotional and sexual power.  For me it is these characteristics that define masculinity.

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2.  Men gain energy and power when they are with other men.  I don’t know if you have noticed but even in a straight pub/bar the atmosphere is very different when it is men only.   By themselves even straight men will play act with each other.  HOWEVER, when a female enters the room (and it only takes one) the atmosphere is very different.

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3.  Where there is TRUST between men there is development.  I am a strong believe and very respectful of trust, truth and respect.  These three characteristics are the hardest to build yet are the easiest to destroy.  Where they exist they enable men to experience fulfilment as it enable men to open their minds and to shine a light on the darkest corners of their mind.  I suppose in some ways it makes the impossible possible and enables the perversions to be seen as normal and healthy.

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4.  Brotherhood.  I believe we can all learn from and support each other.  I don’t have any brothers so don’t know what it is like to have a natural brother.  However, i appreciate the bonds of support and development that exists between men.  I can only fantasise about what that energy is between supportive brothers. I do believe that laws should always be abided by and also believe that where men are consenting and give themselves freely is the best state. I know my beliefs are not mainstream and don’t really fit into any ‘institutionalised’ religion.  I have searched and tried a few different religions most of which are Christian.  I have recently spoken to a Satanist who did excite and inspire me but i think he was after a wank. I’m not sure if you understand my feelings but I do want to thank you for the opportunity to express them. All the best Mark

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Mark, powerful stuff. A wank with a Satanist, now that sounds like fun. Would it be ok to publish this on one of my websites. I was also brought up as a catholic, and althouth i was never really connected to the instution of it, I think it embedded in me about being a good man, just like Jesus. For me my masculinity is my spirituality. I hope at some stage you might get down to London for one of our meetups. It would be great to get something going in Manchester as well. Dont know if you know the poet Rumi (a 13th-century Persian Muslim poet, jurist, theologian, and Sufi mystic), this is one of his poems.

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The core of masculinity does not derive from being male, nor from the friendliness of those who console Your old grandmother says, “Maybe you shouldn’t go to school.  You look a little pale.” Run when you hear that A father’s stern slaps are better Your bodily soul wants comforting The severe father wants spiritual clarity He scolds, but eventually leads you into the open Pray for a tough instructor to hear and act and stay within you -Rumi

Keep in touch, a big hug, seb cox

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an open door

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How long will you keep pounding on an open door

begging for someone to open it?

I am your moon

and your moonlight too

I am your flower garden

and Your water too

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I have come all this way

eager for you

without shoes or shawl

I want you to laugh

to dispel all your worries

to love you

to nourish you

Oh sweet bitterness

I will soothe you and heal you

I will bring you roses

I too have been covered with thorns.

be my first

The springtime of Lovers has come,

that this dust bowl may become a garden;

the proclamation of heaven has come,

that the bird of the soul may rise in flight.

The sea becomes full of pearls,

the salt marsh becomes sweet as spring rain,

the stone becomes a diamond from the mine,

the body becomes wholly soul Rumi

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about my sexuality

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if anyone has the bollox to ask me about my sexuality, I always reply that the only thing they need to know about my sexuality is that I’m fucking excellent. That I am extraordinarily good, at fucking. In fact I am so good, that I misspend my youth doing it professionally,  providing a sexual excellence service for both men and women. Listen m8, we have no culturally approved scripts for life; we pretty much need to write our own. To write your own script requires a lot of effort and a lot of bollox, and is the kind of hard work that brings just rewards, eventually. You might find the right way for you, and three years latter decide you want to live a different way. You write the script, you get to make the choices, and you get to change your fucking mind.

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In the absence of willpower

 In the absence of willpower the most complete collection of virtues and talents is wholly worthlesscocksucker 78 

I have been with two women and raised 5 children and have always known that I was a fag In my mind I tried to fight it and tried to be str8 but never got over the fact that I love men all I have to do is think about a man any man and I get horny I love to suck dick and have never been fucked in the ass but will someday let a man the right man have my virgin ass. I act str8 for the most part but can’t keep my eyes off of men I love checking them out I love everything you could amagine about men all races all sizes muscular hairy smooth skinny fat short tall dirty clean creepy looking dorks nerds old men ugly there is always somthing different and new that all of a sudden will turn me on about men the way one walks or if he sees me watching when he touches or scratches his dick or ass or rubs his chest or belly I see a lot because I am always checking out men I have different fantasies with certin men like most men I want to get my face all over their bodies in their hairy chest smelling their arm pits licking thier ears sucking thier tounges licking butt holes oh my god a fat hairy ass I could spend days with my face buried in his crack and I love dick in my mouth a man sitting on top of my face with his dick in my mouth forcing me to take what ever he wants to do to in my mouth.  I found out that I loved sucking dick so much that I don’t gag any more Johnnycocksucker 3

 In the absence of willpower the most complete collection of virtues and talents is wholly worthless. Aleister Crowley

sex with str8 men

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I’m an older gay man and have only had sexual relations with str8 men. Im not sure why. I know that some say that if you have sex with men then your not str8 but gay. Well I know a lot of str8 men that have sex with men on occasion. Emotionally they are attracted to women and dont want that kind of relationship with another man. Just the sex.Well recently the brother of my sisters husband came to visit over the Xmas holiday.Im 42 yrs old and he is 22. We have known each other for 6 yrs and have always been buddies. But this time he came to visit things changed between us and we had sex twice. Afterwards it was very confusing for me. Im not sure if I crossed a line that I should not have since he is so much younger than me and is family by marriage. We have talked about it and hes fine with everything. We are closer now as friends then we were before. But I still sort of feel guilty. str8 acting?

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