Staying Solo

A discussion group for masturbating catholic priests” – now that sounds fascinating to me! I’m not religious though I was raised Catholic. But I haven’t had any type of partnered sex since I was 34, so that makes almost 30 years of celibacy for me now. Rather than being a ‘violation’ of celibacy, I look upon masturbation as a way of enriching it and strengthening my commitment to staying solo, and would be interested to hear how the priests positively incorporate their masturbation into their lives.
In his 2003 book “Celibacy In Crisis: A Secret World Revisited” the late ex-priest Richard Sipe discusses clerical sexuality and devotes a full chapter to priests’ practice of masturbation. He begins the chapter by stating:
“Masturbation is the most common and frequently used sexual behavior of celibates.”
And concludes with:
“It is clear that some priests must masturbate if they are to achieve celibacy.”
In between he estimates that 80% of priests masturbate anywhere from occasionally to frequently, and presents accounts drawn from numerous interviews revealing the range of priests’ attitudes towards their own masturbation. So despite the common impression that celibacy = no masturbation, in reality the opposite is closer to the truth. – Ed

Sipe’s book is free to view on the Internet Archive if you want to read more. And if you can stand another wall of text from me… something that has really stuck with me from the same chapter is where Sipe quotes a priest he’d interviewed who muses about his conflicted feelings about his masturbation. Although he acknowledges it’s not in strict adherence to his vow of chastity, he still concludes that masturbation is an essential part of his celibacy:
“Masturbation is to celibacy what intercourse is to marriage. Intercourse in marriage celebrates love, forgiveness, dependency, togetherness, unity, and commitment of my body to another. Masturbation in celibacy is not so much a celebration but a reminder of my humanness, dependency on God, humility, loneliness, and commitment of my body to God — it’s not as real and concrete as another person, but then I believe it can support my growth in dependency on God. It’s kind of like saying, “God, it’s only me in here, but it’s all I have and it’s for you and your people.”
“Intercourse is personal, private and shared with another person I deeply love and respect. It takes a while for a relationship to move to that point. Masturbation is personal, private, and shared only with myself as a celibate as many things are because that’s the life-style. It brings me face to face with myself. Do I still want it? Is ‘it still worth it?”
“If intercourse in marriage is the ideal sexual response, then masturbation in celibacy is less than ideal—but it is the sexual response celibates are committed to by virtue of their celibate vow. Masturbation as a sexual response may not last all of a celibates life, just like intercourse may not last all of a married persons life. If celibacy is to have masturbation as a sexual response, then we cannot talk of celibacy by default—there is no such thing.”
Your HaPenis Project does such a wonderful job celebrating male sexuality, between and among men. And even those of us who by choice or by circumstance do not engage in partnered sex can still have rich and satisfying sensual and sexual lives (even old celibate asexuals like me!). – Ed