Every day growing up, I watched miners coming home from the local pit. My face pressed against the cold window pane, my breath making wet ribbons of condensation on the glass as I rubbed my pelvis rhythmically against the back of the sofa. I am not ashamed to say that I have always loved and desired men. Now, in middle life, I get goose flesh and tearful when I remember all of the ordinary/extraordinary men I have known. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, men are beautiful, complex creatures and I think that masculinity must therefore be myriad in its dimensions and its definitions. Our lives as men are riddled with contradictory forces and I am constantly astounded as to how we continue to make space for our uniqueness and our beautiful, complex masculinity. That’s why I really like this site, it never fails to affirm my sexperience as a man. May your dreams become real my beautiful brothers. The Hermit
What a wonderful description of men by The Hermit! He has such a way with words, to be sure. His story, although not really similar to my own early years, reminded me of the wonder and joy I experienced when I came out in my 40’s.
The whole concept of gay was novel to me, having been married with children for 20 years. Yes, and I was dumb as a post, so there’s that. But when I began to meet men in this different context, they were like a new species to me. You could say I fell in love with the concept of the masculine. Each man I met was like a gift. I’d open the door and a man would be standing there, smiling. Or looking smoldering hot, or leaning against the door frame sporting a sly grin… Like Cracker Jacks, there was a prize in every box!
Over the years I learned how to relate to men in numerous ways. I discovered that men are often little boys inside. They love competition in everything, they loved to rough house, knocking over floor lamps and chairs, breaking the crockery. They were sensitive and tender, bringing me flowers or my favourite dark chocolate. They loved to be held in my arms, even after the roughest BDSM session. They collapsed in gales of laughter at my jokes. They cried unashamedly as I soothed their pain. Such complex creatures, such beautiful beings.
As The Hermit himself says, “men are beautiful, complex creatures and I think that masculinity must therefore be myriad in its dimensions and its definitions.”
Once again, I resorted to poetry to better describe the amazement I feel with every young man I meet. Each is divine.
All My Fukbois
All the fukbois I have loved,
As many as the stars above,
Each and every one I lay
Upon my bed –a Milky Way
Across the sky of memory
Each handsome lad whose face I see,
So full of life, looks back at me,
We know each other’s love and lust,
They’re mine to cherish, ’til I am but dust.
-Leo
April 2024
Jerry Tucker
Good friends come in all colors.
Totally agree Hermit.
Perfect 🙏