In some ways, I feel my own situation has been somewhat unique. I’ve always preferred men closer to my own age. I was just more comfortable with my peers and I’m sure most feel the same. Now, perhaps it was just my imagination, my insecurities at coming out so late in life, I don’t know. But I seldom felt that men my age found me of interest. I was always approached by men much younger than myself. Over time, I realized that, in fact, I was a “daddy”. Who knew!? As much as I dislike labels, that realization at least made me feel that I had found my niche. And it seems that, in the gay community, niches are important. We all need to know we belong. And in the gay community, the labels serve that purpose.
I love older men. They have so many qualities that I admire and find attractive. There’s just something, je ne sais quoi, about their understanding of the world that makes older men just… HOT. And I do have the pleasure of knowing a few men close to my own age. But it’s those young men, those energetic, curious, confused, dependent, voracious, funny, riotous, beautiful young men who I see most often. Some have come to depend on me, they seek me out to tell me about what’s happening. I’m the father they never had. I’ve even been told that I have the demeanor of a teacher. Could the fact that I’m a father of five and I was a teacher for 30 years have something to do with it? They are my boys, my fukbois. I know what they want before they even ask. I love them. And I know they love me. I’m their daddy..
I suppose this piece should be under the older/younger heading. What can I say? Life is messy.
