Bonding between men is very important for their mental and physical health. Men’s brains work as a collective source of wisdom and technology. Having a mate who can tell you how to fix a problem on your car, or advice on painting a room, or how to measure for the best sized cock ring is as important as a bloke you can rub one out with. Have a beer, talk pussy, have a laugh and suck his cock. All admirable qualities in a best mate. – BoB
As I age, the thing I miss the most is male bonding and open male companionship. I had it as an athlete competing and being one in the pool, the locker rooms, and showers. I had it in the military. Everyone works toward one goal and supports each other through hard times and good times. We would stop our tanks during a training mission by a river so everyone could strip down and cool off after being without a shower or a bathroom for weeks. I know it sounds sexual, but it was a bonding that I don’t know that I will ever know again.- Scott Redleter
I just read a disturbing opinion piece by Peggy Orenstein in the New York Times, April 12, 2024, “The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex,” about the rising occurrence of choking in “rough sex,” heterosexual encounters between teenage boys and girls in several Western countries, including the US, UK, Australia and New Zealand. I thought the article was well-written and so I downloaded a book she’s written, Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity (2020). I turned to the chapter on gay boys and thought that the following quote is relevant to the discussion we’re having in this post:
“I was consistently struck by how much more willing and able queer boys were than straight ones to negotiate sexual consent. Their process, it seemed to me, could be held up as a model. Dan Savage, author of the syndicated advice column “Savage Love” and founder of the It Gets Better Project, agreed. He referred to “the four magic words” gay men will use during a sexual encounter: What are you into? “When two men go to bed together, ‘yes’ is the beginning of the whole conversation,” he told me. “Who is going to do what with whom cannot be assumed. And when that question is asked at the moment of consent—‘Yes, we’re going to have sex. What are you into?’—you are empowered to rule anything in and rule anything out.” That’s a very different approach from that of straight boys, who usually aim for a simple “yes” or “no” to options they define, such as “Do you want to go down on me?” or “Should we have sex?” What are you into? is the kind of open-ended question that invites true collaboration and mutuality, not to mention, Savage pointed out, a broader definition of “sex[…]”
Excerpt From
Boys & Sex
Peggy Orenstein
This material may be protected by copyright.
Bonding with men is absolutely amazing. I love every aspect of it, it’s a complete package. The emotional aspect and the sexual aspect. I have a handful of amazing male friends and I have sucked and fucked my way through all of them and after years of knowing them we are still friends. I have one friend at present to whom I am very close to, we hook up a couple of times a week for drinks, a chat, a swim in the pool and then off to the bedroom so I can give his cock a workout. I love sucking his big fat curved cock or letting him give my ass a pounding, just to feel his pulsating cumming dick makes me so hard and the precum just oozes out of my dick as his cum spills out of my mouth and down my chin, I make such a mess of it. I bathe my face in his seed. There is nothing more bonding than that.
Before Covid, I and many others had worked hard to develop safe spaces where men could find a similar camaraderie amongst men with similar interests and a subconscious understanding of the value of men only groups. There were dance groups, hiking groups, spiritual groups, singing and choral groups, yoga, theatre, politics. The list was endless. And if you didn’t see a group for your interests, you created one.
Everything came to a screeching halt when “the Plague” hit. Then there was an inoculation which most of us lined up to receive. But everything was different now. It looked the same but it wasn’t. Everyone was suspicious of each other. People didn’t feel comfortable in crowds. I fear everything is gone and it’s not coming back. And here we are. A society without connection won’t last. I don’t like what I see ahead of us.
As I age, the thing I miss the most is male bonding and open male companionship. I had it as an athlete competing and being one in the pool, the locker rooms, and showers. I had it in the military. Everyone works toward one goal and supports each other through hard times and good times. We would stop our tanks during a training mission by a river so everyone could strip down and cool off after being without a shower or a bathroom for weeks. I know it sounds sexual, but it was a bonding that I don’t know that I will ever know again.
thank You Scott
The tension between Dean and Newman is that of a couple in love… Legend has it that Marlon Brando had sex with both of them, individually and at the same time…
They were beautiful and sensual men from a time of great virile and masculine stars, who hid their homosexuality from the general public with surreal ease.
Yes, and when do “best mates” become “couples in love” ? That is the exciting tension that men feel in their close relationships with other men. And there is a difference. Andre is absolutely right, these two famous actors look like they were in love in this clip. Or were they just acting?