ƂUᴉLᴉƎƆ ƎꞍꞱ UO ƂUᴉɅᴉL

I grew up in a household much like yours and come from a similar background so I completely empathize with what you’re going through. Though I was never really fortunate enough to intimately connect with girls in my youth, I’m convinced I was born heterosexual, or overwhelmingly heterosexual. My homosexual tendencies were quite latent(appearing around the age of 13). I’m 23, almost 24 now, my father is very conservative christian, was raised in the environment back in the 60’s (I’m more of a libertarian), I came out somewhat prematurely while I was in Army Basic Training, he did NOT and still does not receive it well. I was raised to be a christian and had a lot of internalized, repressed homophobia in my youth, and have spent several years now trying to reconcile my spiritual beliefs with my carnal desires. I’ve learned several things;
1. not all Christians respond to our lifestyle with vitriol,
2. just because the church (an institution comprised of other humans with their own faults, biases, egos) claims to “Know and god, and that he speaks through them” does not mean they actually do,
3. As others here have pointed out, the text that formed the modern interpretation of scripture have been skewed throughout history through miss translation/transcription, many would agree the Bible is a good source of information, but just like everything else in the world it will never give a full picture of the past, of how Jesus Christ himself actually felt and by extension the lord. The lord is unknowable and incomprehensible to the human mind, but we’re supposed to know for certain that he experiences baser human emotions like disgust and pain at the sight of his children loving each other unconventionally?
4. Your parents and family are their own human beings and choose their own fate and path just as you choose yours, do not allow yourself to be made to feel guilty about embracing your own path, your own autonomy, agency, and independent free will. Do not be scared, or guilt tripped into feeling that you have to live your life for the sake of others. Our predecessors choosing to allow themselves to be bothered by our choices and actions, is their problem, it’s their CHOICE. Live your life the way you want to and let it be true, DO NOT LIVE A LIE for the sake of others, lying to one’s own self, in my opinion, is a greater sin a man can commit than homosexuality.
5. Initially in my adolescence when I confronted these feelings I was quite confused because I did and still do feel my self being attracted to women, but now I was also questioning if I was gay because I liked cocks? Well I arrived at a simple conclusion, I’m just bi.
Perhaps in this conflict you feel you haven’t been able to connect with your significant other due to your anxiety over it all, have you given yourself the option that you may potentially be bisexual? – A. Non