I’m 66. For most of my life I told myself that I was not gay. I could find attraction in men and to their God-cocks, play around (rarely) in a secretive and guilt-ridden way, and feel terrible afterwards, but definitely not gay! Aged 56, I had an epiphany: woke up on a beautiful sunny Monday morning and said to myself, ‘Yes, I am gay’. It was like a weight was lifted of me, I felt such lightness and joy. I eventually came out to my wife. We are still together. We have a deep and lasting and nourishing bond of love. We are intimate, but not sexual. I make arrangements to be with men. I am discreet because she remains uneasy about it. But I have to be fully who I am, and if that is too much for her, I would leave. I have made some wonderful sexual connections with men, and some less good too. I have some wonderful deep platonic friendships with men that I lacked before. I have them now because I can now show up exactly as I am, proud, shameless and unapologetic – I stand fully in my masculinity, charged with phallic erotic energy; with that energy I exude the authenticity, confidence and authority that attracts men to me. Gay and straight. Just recently I came to understand that the word, ‘gay’ no longer serves me, and I prefer ‘queer’ – not as a label, but how I think and feel about myself. I used to hate that word, associated in my younger days with hatred, fear and derision. Now, I love it and I claim it. I find my horniness comes and goes in seasons of its own at this time in my life, and I welcome the peaks and troughs. Right now I’m super horny, lots of my me-time spent in fantasy, in meetings, in wanking, in celebration and loving kindness of my arse, cock, balls and body. I’m often oozing precum and I take every opportunity to gather it and feed on it, just as I do with my spunk. Likewise other men’s juicy secretions and their spunk. I have rediscovered these pages recently and love to see what’s posted. It’s beyond porn for me because there is so much heart here along with the eroticism. I have become very interested in sacred sexuality and I have an intention to offer some experience to men in this area. That’s in development.
My thanks to Seb and all who contribute to this site. – Amar Rama
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Dans le texte d’Amar Rama, je me retrouve tout à fait.
Je me suis marié pour faire comme tout le monde et c’était une époque où l’on ne parlait pas ou très rarement de l’homosexualité. C’est vers l’âge de 45 ans que j’ai osé faire le pas vers un homme et son sexe, lui comme moi avons été si excité que cette première expérience à été vite menée.
Ce fut le point de départ, dans les moments de liberté que nous avons tous dans un couple, vers une recherche d’un homme qui partagerait mon temps libre, mes goûts pour les arts, la musique, le sport. Pas facile de trouver l’oiseau rare !
Pas facile de conjuguer vie de famille et rencontres gay.
Nous avions le même âge, il était célibataire, il n’était pas particulièrement beau, mais il était intéressant. Une facilité pour entrer en relation avec les autres, toujours une histoire à raconter, un artiste. Ma femme et mes enfants ont été conquis par sa personnalité, son humour. Aucune objection si je m’absente avec lui, quelques jours. J’ai vécu cette double vie dans l’allégresse totale, ma femme a parfois déploré notre complicité mais elle n’a jamais soupçonné son homosexualité. Je suis toujours marié avec un lien d’amitié profonde, de respect mutuel et durable pour ma femme mais plus rien de sexuel.
J’ai 76 ans maintenant, voilà 16 ans que mon amis est mort subitement laissant un grand vide. J’ai quelques temps après chercher à combler le vide et c’est à ce moment que ma femme à compris que les hommes m’attiraient. Elle la mal vécu pendant un certain temps, j’ai compris que l’attention devait être plus importante avec elle et j’ai appris la discrétion dans les rencontres. Au fil des ans je me suis rendu compte que j’exerce une certaine attirance sur de jeunes hommes, attitude qui me conforte pleinement. J’ai avec l’âge un changement de ma sexualité, certainement moins male dominant.
Merci Amar Rama, sans son texte, je n’aurais rien écrit.
Michael
{translated by google}
In the text of Amar Rama, I find myself completely.
I got married to do like everyone else and it was a time when we did not talk or very rarely about homosexuality. It was around the age of 45 that I dared to take the step towards a man and his sex, he and I were so excited that this first experience was quickly carried out.
This was the starting point, in the moments of freedom that we all have in a couple, towards a search for a man who would share my free time, my tastes for the arts, music, sport. Not easy to find the rare bird!
It’s not easy to combine family life and gay encounters.
We were the same age, he was single, he wasn’t particularly handsome, but he was interesting. A facility to relate to others, always a story to tell, an artist. My wife and my children were conquered by his personality, his humor. No objection if I go away with him for a few days. I lived this double life in total joy, my wife sometimes lamented our complicity but she never suspected his homosexuality. I am still married with a bond of deep friendship, mutual and lasting respect for my wife but nothing more sexual.
I am 76 years old now, it has been 16 years since my friend died suddenly leaving a great void. I have some time after trying to fill the void and it is at this moment that my wife understood that men attracted me. She took it badly for a while, I understood that attention had to be more important with her and I learned discretion in meetings. Over the years I have realized that I exert a certain attraction on young men, an attitude that fully comforts me. I have with age a change in my sexuality, certainly less male dominant.
Thank you Amar Rama, without his text, I would not have written anything.
Michael
Ah, Michael, thank you and bless you for your words, and for showing up as you have.
Sending warm embraces.
Amar.
Oh
I am not sure that I can own my self to my wife at this point. I am 75 and have always kind of known myself to be bisexual but have found myself more drawn to males in the last 10 years. I had a fabulous introduction to male love from a lovely man in Oregon a few years ago and cherish that time like no other in my life. I continue to look for the same attraction and passion without success but I continue to look. I know exactly what I want and will seek it to my dying day. I am what I am and proudly own my self. I am very glad to have discovered hapenis and wish only that all the males here were not with huge male cocks. Some of us are just as horny but not as blessed, and would feel better if there were some more normal males.
“It’s beyond porn for me because there is so much heart here along with the eroticism.” That is exactly what attracted me to HaPenis initially and yes, the great photos are a never-ending source of what I’ve never been really able to experience – caring for elderly parents, helping relatives with their problems, one thing after another – none of which deserves any further note. I am almost 80 and my health has hit the skids big time! I can no longer do just about anything I used to do ~ heavy housework, and gardening, which I love, and on it goes. But a strange calm settled upon me earlier this year. I no longer worry about mundane things and do what I can as best I can. My sexual needs are still there but go unfulfilled and that does not bother me either. I know my time is limited, and I guess that is why I am not disturbed by life’s daily struggles. I wish I had someone – a man of course – in my life, but accept that I probably never will. I love HaPenis and it brings great treasures about our male bodies from ancient times up until today! Thank you Seb and whomever else produces this delightfully fulfilling treasure so often. With my love, R + A
Hi R + W: Your script could mirror mine (77 y.o., widowed,) desiring another man’s body from head to toe! Enjoying sucking another man’s cock bringing him to orgasm and ejaculation of his tasty cum, and enjoying every bit to his last drop! Ideally, getting into a “69” position that we would simultaneously enjoy reaching that beautiful experience! I’m still in awe that at my age, that I can get a good, hard erection and experience awesome orgasm’s and shooting strong amounts of my cum, my man juice!! Experiencing a simultaneous ejaculation with another guy would be just mind-blowing ! Oh, to dream . . .
Amar Rama i say FLEXIBLE is the right word if u switch between men and women but is just for yourself if you need to label your attitude , otherwise for society u are just a male that have sexuel opportunities and enjoy them..
if u only like men u r homosexual and yet again a male that. size sex opportunities with men and again is a label useful for yourself ou for your community if u really wish to label yourself to public
❤️👍🏾
Very true. It’s good to own what you feel. I agree also that labels are not always correct for us. In a general sense they may describe us in a detached academic categorisation of what we “do” but in no way do words capture who we “are” in our soul. I am delighted to hear that your wife and you are still together in a deep bond. Nurture her and love her, and be very thankful for her. She sounds like such a blessing to you that she can stand with you in all this. Enjoy.