My lust 4 cock seems a bit different than other stories I’ve read here. I’m not married to a woman, lusting after men. Instead, I’m married to a man; yet we have not had sex in eons. My lust comes in the form of trying to remember what having good sex with another man feels like. My first experience with a man was by far the best. Unfortunately, I fucked that up by not sharing critical information with him. I wound up with another man, a few months later. The sex was good, but was never as tender as that first time. That relationship ended badly, and I’m now with a man who became my husband. He’s a great guy whom I’d do anything for; however, post-marriage, I’ve learned that we have very different sex drives. Now, I feel kinda stuck. I love sex. Like, I could probably have it daily, given the right partner. Him, not so much… I spend way too many hours and days contemplating what to do. My husband and I have discussed this issue numerous times, but nothing has changed. I don’t want to cheat, and I don’t want to go through another divorce (first marriage was to a woman). Am I a martyr? Perhaps, but am really unsure of how to move forward. While I don’t want to break his heart, I realize that I need intimacy in my married life. I want to be made love to, and sometimes I just want to fuck. I often think of the man from my first time, and wonder how life would be had I been forthcoming all those years ago… Sam
Dear Sam, I want to suggest that your wistfulness over your first relationship with a man might be an idealized romantic misrepresentation. If you hadn’t screwed up that relationship it could have fizzled out for any number of reasons. Stop procrastinating by mooning over that loss, and figure out how you are going to fix your current situation. Professional counselling won’t work. At best, your husband will feel obligated to give you a blow job one per month and while you are laying back receiving it, your mind will be focused on the fact that he is sucking your cock under duress and hating every minute of it- you won’t get hard, angering him and frustrating you even more – believe me, this is my yearly anniversary scenario. But the other 364 days of the year, I’m rutting with a select few men who actually desire me, solicit me for hook ups and tell me how much they love eating my cum. Believe me Sami, if I can get guys to want me, you can – my only real charm is that I am authentically masculine. Every thing else about me is average. But you have to get over the guilt that you are cheating. You are being forced to either cheat or as you said, break his heart. He is leaving you only those two choices – its not your doing. Try it once, be discreet and anonymous. Find a man who is married to a woman, they have way more to lose than you so their discretion is assured. You deserve to be sexually fulfilled. It is only friction and spit, and what your sexually deceased husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him. – JoE
I’m in the same situation as you! I’m married to a man, who had retired his cock wayyyy before his time. The only thing for it was to make the ultimatum: what you don’t get at home you get somewhere else – he either allows me to have an open relationship with him, or I WILL end up cheating on him, or leaving him. Those were his choices. I’m in my prime, and I have a big cock that guys pine over. And although I love him, there was no way I’m gonna grow old with a lifetime of regrets. Buddy, in the name of Pan, Priapus, and Frejr… do NOT let another person decide your pleasure. You will end up feeling resentment and being tied down. Also, do yourself a favor and skip trying to resurrect you and your husband’s dead sexlife. Couple’s therapy, talks, handbooks, etc – it won’t work. I tried for years to liven up my man’s libido, but at the end of the day he’s just not interested. Even said sex is something for teenagers and young adults to engage in. But then he offered to give me handjobs without actually engaging himself any further. I was horrified at his attitude, and also quite angered at being belittled so badly for having a strong sexdrive. The harsh truth is, some people just don’t get it. And there is no way to make them. Demand an open relationship, or leave him. As it is now, you’re one step away from the friend zone as it is. No real loss. – Ben
just another married guy thinking about dick…sucking it, showing it, loving it. But I dont mess around with men in fear of catching something. I am bi and so is my wife. I love looking at my own dick in the mirror…it is so so beautiful. I love showing it to other men. And my erection is just amazing to. Guess what? My wife doesnt want to suck on it. Can you believe that?? She used to, but I dont like eating pussy, so she stopped sucking my rod. Life is beautiful! My sexuality has been years of frustration, but some joy also. Thanks. I live in Euskircen, Germany, but I am American. Jack K
I am reading this post and thinking about marriage, cocks, Ben’s post “He is a God,” Genet’s “Chant d’Amour” (1950) and his novel “Our Lady of Flowers” (1947) in which the narrator, who is Genet in prison, conjures forth a whole cast of characters who exist, in the words of Jean-Paul Sartre who wrote the introduction to the novel, for the sole purpose of giving Genet an erection when he has them in mind: “He is telling himself stories in order to please himself.” And I am looking at the photos for this post and thinking: these images of men are not about marriage with either a woman or a man, they are about giving us an erection! They are about that “massive, vascular cock” that proclaims a man’s “Greatness with awesome force,” to borrow words from Ben. And the picture that conveys Ben’s central message, and maybe Genet’s, the most forcefully is the one that I dwell on every time I see it, the one labelled “touch my cock slow sensual.” Personally, I don’t think this is what either of these men in the photo is thinking. The man with the “massive vascular cock” could be a character in this passage from “Our Lady of Flowers,” as Genet is talking about his imagined memories of another character, the pimp Darling Daintyfoot: “I am exhausted; I have a cramp in my wrist. the pleasure of the last drops is dry … I have given up the daydream. I was loved. I have quit … yet the memory of his eyes and their fatigue, which I have to cull from the face of another youngster whom I saw coming out of a brothel, a boy with firm legs and a ruthless cock, so solid I might almost say it was knotted … this memory refuses to disappear ….” (faber and faber edition, p. 66). In the photo, the man with the magnificently ruthless cock is not contemplating leaving his partner to marry the beautiful guy in the suit. He’s thinking: “I’m going to FUCK you!” And the man in the suit, who is probably married (his left hand is hidden so we don’t know that for sure) has totally forgotten all about his partner and his life with him/her as he thinks, his lips pursed with urgent desire: “TAKE ME NOW!” Ben is on to something about the core experience of masculinity, which doesn’t have to do with marriage, cock size or muscles, but has everything to do with cocks/penises/phalluses and their ruthless GREATNESS and dominance in most men’s lives.
Dear Sam
Although not married to him I spent 10 years in a relationship that was very one sided and getting him to have sex was a real struggle, so in the end I gave up and just did my thing but as descretely as possible only to find out that he was doing something very similar when he actually did want sex! it just wasn’t with me! needless to say the relationship came to an end, he ended it and after I gave him 10 years of my life I ended up with nothing, I loved him even though the sex was little and far between, turns out he didn’t really love me. I felt very let down and quite angry about it as I have given him my prime years and he wasted them. I do not regret one thing about how I managed that relationship the only regret is I didn’t leave him 8 years earlier and found someone who was going to give me as much as I had to give. Don’t beat yourself up, he should have been upfront with you at the start and given you the choice to stay or go. I have in the past been with men who once they have had you the sex just stops, it’s like a tap they turn off once the bath is full. I soon learnt to spot most of those and steared clear, so when you think someone is on your wavelength it is easy to fall into that easy way of living only to get caught out at a later stage. Take the bull by the horns and tell him straight out that you love him but you need more and if he is not interested in sex you will find it elsewhere, let him make the decision, but do not allow him to make you feel guilty, he is the one who has misled you. I wish you all the luck in the world.
whaat a ‘hot man walking on the beach wow if only such sexualiity
Hey Sam I think I’m hearing that your desire is for more than anonymous, discreet or even open and varied encounters full of drive. It might just be that I’m superimposing my own spin on your situation, that is having a lover where the two of you can have lusty, passionate, intimate and tender sex together…….. the kind of thing you think or expect grows in a long term relationship or marriage and involves love and familiarity.
I guess that could mean you entering into some version of polyamory perhaps, open with your husband and without threat to your marriage. You never know, he might get sexed up enough occasionally to join in, that would be good for you. But it may be that you have that intimate sexual connection with this other man (likely with a closeness as well as sexual connection). We all have the ability to love more than one person. So I hope that in addition to the marriage you want, that you find a loving sexual partner as well.
No need to stay faithful to a guy who won’t make you feel fulfilled. Plenty of men out there I’m sure who’d love to at least TRY to do that. A bodybuilder type years ago caught my eye – on our first encounters it was nice, cuz his muscularity was a turn-on for me. But after a few months he became more and more reluctant to give me head – which is what I craved then. He got to be almost strictly a rear delivery guy, with me lying flat on my chest with nothing to look at but the pillow. Then I found out he’d been with lots of women in the past. One thing led to another and we ended whatever it was we had. Don’t know how long you’ve been married – and time CAN be an important factor – but since you two have at least begun to talk about splitting, it might be time to do more than talking about it.
I always said I’d never marry simply because I wasn’t willing to risk losing half of my financial picture.
I also don’t judge anyone else if marriage is what makes them happy.
This was the best decision for ME. I don’t need anyone’s approval.
Nor do you, brother.
It is painful to hear from so many who cannot express their nature and be themselves as a result of a relationship.
It is also wonderful and amazing to see so many Gods realize they deserve to be fulfilled.
Each of us is unique, with different needs.
Isn’t THAT, brothers, exactly what many men naturally need? Variety.
Love yourself enough to permit yourself to be happy and fulfilled sexually and every other way in life.
Each of us MEN, us GODS, have superpowers.
Use them, brothers.
Thank You John
Thank you Mr Cox I am honored and blown away that you used my remarks for that page!!!!!!!
You rock for creating this site.