I consider myself a completely straight male but I must admit I have had a total of 3 homosexual encounters, all with the same guy (another straight friend) and within the span of a week. The first time I was really really drunk and ended up crashing at his place and I thought “I’m horny, why the hell not?” and made the first move. The second time I don’t think involved any substances, and the third time I was f’ed up on something I can’t recall too clearly. And before anyone can say that illicit substances can lead to bad decision-making, I want to mention I’ve since cleaned up my act quite a bit. I’m not trying to make excuses or anything but I think it’s noteworthy that I was extremely sexually frustrated at the time, recently having ended things with a friends with benefits. Also, I knew this friend found me attractive and I suppose that was a turn on to some degree. But for most of the experience I found myself pretending that my friend was a woman and his stubble was really off-putting at points. The whole time it didn’t feel like I was having sex, but kind of masturbating by the means of an another person, if that makes any sense. It didn’t feel “right” I guess.
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O, starry night of good omen,
When drunkard mounted drunkard,
We whiled away the time in worship to the Devil,
With fervent faith,
Until the monks rang death’s bell and dawn,
And the young lad took off, dragging his delightful robe
Touched by my impure desire.
“Woe is me,” he said through his tears,
“You have torn away the dignity I had long treasured.”
“A lion saw a gazelle and lunged at it,” said I,
“Such are the vagaries of fate.”
Ya Sahir al-Tarf; after Kennedy, p. 67 by Abū Nuwās al-Ḥasan ibn Hānī al-Ḥakamī (756–814),aka Abū Nuwās (Arabic: ابو نواس; Persian: ابو نواس, Abū Novās), was one of the greatest classical gay Arabic poets, who also composed in Persian on occasion.