Hi Seb, I hope you are well. I hope you find the time to read this e-mail with patience and understanding. First let me tell you about my situation and how I feel and then you can tell me if or how you are able to help me. I’m 24, a gay man. I have not been sexually active for some time. Most of my friends don’t understand why I cant find a boyfriend or at least a ‘shag’, they say ‘you’re a sweet looking guy you should have no problem meeting someone.’ However, I know that the problems lies within me. I have very low self-esteem when it comes to my body and how i feel about it. There is nothing wrong with it externally except that I don’t have a very large penis, I guess its average to small. However, in my mind I have shut down sexually.
I feel I’m a very sexual person who is blocked or trapped by his internal inhabitions and low self- esteem. I feel tremendous pressure from the gay world to be the biggest, the most hung, the prettiest – u know what I mean. I’m looking for a serious relationship and if I’m to find the man of my dreams I must sort this problem out. Its causing me a lot of stress and even depression and I’m not sexually active which I really need to be. I’m usually more passive, very sensual and sweet. The thought of going to a ‘masseur’ like you has crossed my mind a few times but I never really wanted to ‘pay for it’ as they say – there was an element of shame in having to pay someone, almost like you are not good enough to get it on your own. However I need to do this for myself if I’m going to sort my problem out. I’m genuine and it took a lot of soul searching to get to the point of writing this e-mail. Can you help me? Thank you so much for taking the time to read this e-mail. Yours, XXX.