Most of us have difficulty placing trust in a spiritual path after the negative experiences so many of us have had from our chosen religion.
Even in organisations which seem initially friendly, there is so often the ‘bottom line’: we are accepted so long as we don’t bring our partners along, or mention homosexuality, or as long as we don’t aspire to become teachers or leaders or fully-fledged members. One of the contributions that we make as gay people is our gayness – our ability to see things a little differently. Sometimes experience can lead us to scan the horizon for the expected disappointment; the barrier to full acceptance. So we may come across elements within Vajrayana which make us feel ‘here it comes again’. For example, the yab-yum imagery and the khandro-pawo teachings are expressed within a heterosexual framework – and we may perceive them as excluding us.
More from that article – http://arobuddhism.org/community/being-gay-practicing-tantra.html