I am in a heterosexual relationship but occasionally my partner and I have sex with a plumber, a friend for some 15 years and I also have sex with him and his partner. I am not aware of being attracted to men either sexually or physicaly but enjoy very much having MM contact either with or without one of the partners present. I am of the opinion that we are all on a scale of bi-sexuality and anything that prevents us from realising this is just conditioning (just?). All you homo/bi phobes imagine this scenario, you go to a party, get drunk and find yourself the next morning in bed naked with a hard on for Cymru (Wales) and a soft mouth giving you the blow job of a lifetime, you cum like you did the first time someone sucked you to orgasm. a head appears from under the covers and it belongs to a clean shaven man, what are you going to do get angry, kick his head in? What for giving you the orgasam of the month/year/life? Lighten up for crying out loud just lie back and think of Cymru or even better invite him to bed with you and your female partner Cymru Dave
Hello Seb…What a HOT website! I am a 58 year old man now, that lives in the USA. I have always loved looking at other men’s cocks, so I don’t know if I found this website, or it found me. I just know how much I LOVE IT! It has turned smoldering coals in my genitals back into a full fledged brush fire. I just wanted to THANK YOU. I have jacked off so much since finding your site it is ridiculous. I have been married for 32 years and have a wonderful wife. She would be devastated if she found out that I was cruising your site looking at other men every day. It is harmless fun for me, but women see it so differently.
I have to do this everyday: I am senior bear and if you had told me when I was a kid, that I would one day March in a Gay Pride parade, I wouldn’t have been able to get my mind around it. Brought up in the twisted world of Fifties wacko Irish-American Catholicism, I thought I shouldn’t be gay but was wracked with the intense charge of my deepest desires. I was very smart and read all the books that proved that gay love was, if not a sin, a disease to be cured. I wasted the next twenty years of my life in a vane attempt to become who I wasn’t and pouring large amounts of alcohol down my throat to kill the pain. My penis was a lot smarter than my head and right from the get go I was telling me the truth about myself. My first wet dream: I am standing by the stairs that lead to the door of the Basement Chapel of St.Mary’s. My brother’s friend Leo walks up to me; he is naked. I am naked. Our hard penises kiss and I wake up to find my pajamas sticky with sperm. Forty five years ago and it still makes me hard! I dated girls. They were nice girls. I ran on the fantasy that if I got laid it would prove I was straight and I would be all right. I later found out that for me sex with a woman was a trick I could pull off and so what. The sad truth is that, in my case, whether I was dating in my young manhood or fucking a couple of women or using some poor soul as an unwilling beard, I was using these people to fix me. Not a good way to treat anyone. I have a friend from hight school days. In college we used to double date. He asked me one Saturday night why I was always so depressed when we were going out. I couldn’t tell him that when I was sitting behind him as we drove off with the girls I wanted more than I can describe even now to lean forward and cover the muscular white ivory of his neck bites and nibbling kisses. One of the worst nights of my life was spent in the same bed with him inches from me and unable to be touched. And in the midst of all this I was cruising the bushes and the block, where men fished for sex, for hours and days on end.
Occasionally I got lucky but never happy. When I finally fucked a woman I added two and two and,as usual,came up with twenty-two! Since I was now cured of being queer I would enter the seminary, live with men, and wear a long black dress. But my prick was still smarter than I was and had a plan of its own. At the end of summer recess I decided to “go for a walk” in the woods near my mothers new house. There were often trucks and cars parked along the road. Eventually I spied a neighbor hood beauty I’ll name Paul. He was lying sunning himself wearing as near to nothing as I had ever seen. Perhaps twenty, long spare body, black hair,a face as Irishly handsome as his other brothers. He new I was cruising him. He wanted to be cruised. Was he getting hard? I was. My shyness made me slow to come near. (I later learned how important this is in building explosive sexual tension] In my memory the details become blurred in what I know was a storm of hungry mouths, groping hands, naked flesh: years of longing tearing the sky apart. We were both too trapped in the Big Closet America was then to capitalize on what the God Eros had pulled us into, but I look back an say what a start, There follows many years of therapies, jobs, lots of sex, lots of Bourbon, all enhanced by a talent for self pity. I often say living those years was like riding a bicycle with no chain gears. Then a great blessing: Stonewall and I began trying to come out. Next I was forced to put down the booze. That first summer sober I was in a daze most of the time but, Eros be praised, that Summer they were relaying all the water and sewer pipes in the town where I was living. The work was being done by a Syrian owned company. Most of the workers were Arab, Italian or Spanish. I was defenseless against the strength and beauty unselfconscious erotic power of what I saw. I would go down town for lunch, see a few more of these glorified bodies, something would light up inside of me inside of me and I had to accept that my deep love of the male was my gift from that erotic God. A few more brain cells would come back on line. That the spermy kiss of Leo’s penis was a blessed gift from god. Andy Mc
I have been sufing your site for a while and it speaks loads to me. Your whole approach to sex, body, spirit and most of all, as a man who seems complete ,is refreshing. I had a lover once who showed me the ropes into tantric sex. The first time I came with him, I cried. That is one of the best memories I have. The complete surrender unto someone else. The intimacy. The feeling that there is no world apart from the hand on the lower stomach. I would like to continue along the path I was shown by someone special, maybe even to validate his memory cum4me
I distinguish between sexual orientation, romantic orientation, and platonic orientation because many straight guys, for example, have gay sex on the side. They often say, “It’s only sex.” To me, they are heteroromantic straight in the romantic sense) and biSEXUAL (bi in the purely sexual sense). Many homoromantic guys (gay in the romantic sense) are also biSEXUAL (bi in the purely sexual sense). www.threecirclegraph.com/Bisexuality.pdf. Anthony
The Need for Two More Bisexual Categories and the Necessity of Adding a Romantic and Platonic- Orientation Graph Many queers remain uncomfortable with having straight, bi, and gay as the only three sexualities from which to choose self-labeling (excluding transgendered, of course). Just as many bisexuals claim relief upon discovering bisexual as a label, borderzone bis need terms that more accurately describe their feelings toward males and females. Postmodern readers are probably echoing the mantra that “labels don’t matter,” but sometimes categories are needed to make sense of feelings-just as up, down, right, and left continue to be used when these terms mean nothing in outer space. Words are powerful, and so is the absence of words.
Today, Kinsey 1s, 2s, 4,s and 5s are forced to identify as straight or gay because the term bisexual conjures up the 50/50 stereotype in most people’s minds. “I’m more gay than straight,” a Kinsey 5 male may say, eschewing bisexual as a label altogether because “it doesn’t exactly describe what I am.” The problem is that this forces him to ignore his opposite-sex attraction because he lacks a label with which to verbalize his feelings. Of course, studies on the effects of such repression are lacking, but I’ve developed a three-circle diagram that, if accepted by enough bisexuals, may come to symbolize bisexuality in the coming decades. The diagram is as follows: The largest circle on the left represents summer and heterosexuality; the medium-sized circle in the middle represents fall and bisexuality; and the smallest circle on the right represents winter and homosexuality. Inside the straight circle, there is a picture of summer-symbolic for the simultaneous privilege and oppression of heterosexuality; the bi circle has a picture of fall-symbolic of bisexuality as a transitional season, as bisexuality is sometimes a transition to or from homosexuality, yet permanent in that fall returns every year; and the gay circle has a picture of winter-symbolic of gayness as both snowy beautiful, yet very cold and alienating for many gays. The bi circle is larger than the gay circle and smaller than the straight circle because, I believe, more people will identify as bi in the future than as gay, yet most people will continue to identify as straight-perhaps 65% of the population, vs. 17% bi and 10% gay.muscles is worked during sex
The straight and gay circles intermesh slightly into the bi circle, creating a gray area between the straight and bi circle and between the bi and gay circle. People falling inside these gray areas need names, as the lack of terms causes confusion for people trying to verbalize their sexuality beyond the simple straight/bi/gay trichotomy.
Two terms could be used to describe these borderzone bisexuals (remember it’s a zone where the circles intermesh, not the Kinsey line). The terms are:
Heterosexual . Unisexual . Bisexual . Trisexual . Homosexual Heterosexual, . . . being in Zone 0 (the straight circle), and sexually attracted to the same sex 0/4 of the time in FREQUENCY Unisexual, . . . being in Zone 1 (the zone where the straight and bi circles intermesh slightly), and sexually attracted to the same sex ¼ of the time in FREQUENCY Bisexual, . . . being in Zone 2 (the bi circle), plus the present-day “50/50” definition with regard to FREQUENCY Trisexual, . . . being in Zone 3 (the zone where the bi and gay circles intermesh slightly), sexually attracted to the same sex ¾ of the time in FREQUENCY Homosexual, . . . being in Zone 4 (the gay circle), and sexually attracted to the same-sex 4/4 in FREQUENCY While the Kinsey continuum places one’s orientation on a horizontal line, the three circles allow people to place their orientation horizontally and vertically. A 50/50 bisexual, for example, may be near the top of Zone 2, near the bottom, or near the center-depending on his/her mood on a given day. That is why high-quality photographs fill the three circles, as pictures have a thousand places that people can identify with (e.g., the top of a tree on one’s wedding day vs. the ground on a “blue” day). The three circles, in short, are three-dimensional vis-à-vis the two-dimensional Kinsey scale. Moreover, the circles include a hovering moon on the upper-right-hand side, a moon that should transgendered people so decide, can come to symbolize their sexuality. (My essay “Borderzone Bisexuals” goes more deeply into this.)
The adding of two labels doesn’t have to mean the dissecting of bisexuality as a political movement, for bisexual can continue to be an umbrella term for all bisexuals. The categories unisexual and trisexual, however, would presumably be employed by borderzoners on a more personal level.
The Need for a Sexual, Romantic, and Platonic Orientation Graph
In Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life (1998), Marjorie Garber wrote that nobody has significantly altered the Kinsey scale since 1948. As of today, laypeople and sexologists continue to talk about the sexual-orientation scale when referring not just to sex, but to love, romance, and friendship. In their rush away from categories, they have lumped varying and often contradictory facets of human relationships into one scale. This needs serious remedying if bisexuality-and human relationships-are to be understood three dimensionally.
For better or worse, males often divorce sex and romance. A straight-identified male, for example, may say, “I’m not gay! I just love cocks in my mouth.” What he means is that although he enjoys sex with males, he isn’t romantically attracted to them. The gays are the “poofs” and “fairies” because they are homoromantic, wanting more than just to “beat off their meat” or “fool around.” Straight men, of course, don’t describe themselves as heteroromantic (romantically interested in the opposite sex), but if society ever comes to terms with admitting everyone’s innate bisexuality, sexual politics will probably revolve around people’s romantic orientation. In short, I propose three, different circle graphs (all following the same zone principles outlined in Part I of this article).
Heterosexual . Unisexual . Bisexual . Trisexual . Homosexual
(The sexual-orientation graph is explained in Part I of this essay.)
2. Romantic-Orientation Circle Graph (measures a person’s romantic attraction to a given sex)
Heteroromantic . Uniromantic . Biromantic . Triromantic . Homoromantic Heteroromantic . . . being in Zone 0 (the straight circle), and romantically interested in the same sex 0/4 in FREQUENCY Uniromantic . . . being in Zone 1 (the zone where the straight and bi circles intermesh slightly), and romantically interested in the same sex 1/4 in FREQUENCY Biromantic . . . being in Zone 2 (the bi circle), plus the present-day “50/50” definition with regard to FREQUENCY Triromantic . . . being in Zone 3 (the zone where the bi and gay circles intermesh slightly), and romantically interested in the same sex 3/4 in FREQUENCY Homoromantic . . . being in Zone 4 (the gay circle), and romantically interested in the same sex 4/4 in FREQUENCY (E.g. Presumably, most males today are bisexual and heteroromantic.)
3. Platonic-Orientation Circle Graph (measures a person’s platonic attraction to a given sex)
Heteroplatonic . Uniplatonic . Biplatonic . Triplatonic .Homoplatonic Heteroplatonic . . . being in Zone 0 (the straight circle), and platonically interested in the same sex 0/4 in FREQUENCY. (This is something that most gay males, presumably, are guilty of, as their same-sex friendships often turn into sexual relationships Uniplatonic . . . being in Zone 1 (the zone where the straight and bi circles intermesh slightly), and platonically interested in the same sex 1/4 in FREQUENCY Biplatonic . . . being in Zone 2 (the bi circle), plus the present-day “50/50” definition with regard to FREQUENCY transferred to the platonic orientation discussion Triplatonic . . . being in Zone 3 (the zone where the bi and gay circles intermesh slightly), and platonically interested in the same sex 3/4 in FREQUENCY Homoplatonic . . . being in Zone 4 (the gay circle), and platonically interested in the same sex 4/4 in For those confused by the platonic orientation graph, it is the inverse of the sexual and romantic orientation graph. People who are gay in the sexual and romantic sense are straight in the platonic sense and people who are straight in the sexual and romantic arena are “gay” in the platonic sense-for it seems that gays “bond” platonically with the opposite sex, while straights bond platonically with the same sex (e.g., homosocial bonds). If one follows Billy Crystal’s line in When Harry Met Sally (1989), most straight men cannot remain pure friends with women because females’ sexual attractiveness tempts men to make sexual advances on them, destroying any chance of men and women being “just friends.” Men like Crystal’s character would, presumably, be homoplatonic (only capable of forming platonic relationships with males) and heteroromantic (romantically interested in the opposite sex). The possibilities for sexual identification are endless, and because of this, the sexual-orientation circle graph will most likely remain the focus of political organizing for many decades. In the far future, however, it is likely that researchers will have more concepts with which to describe the diversity of human relationships. With enough sophistication, the masses may start talking about sexual, romantic, and platonic orientations by the middle and latter part of the 21st century. Bisexuals and transgendered people, more than any other sexual minority, are the most likely candidates to adopt the three-circle graphs because they are not mired in the either/or paradigm of heterosexuals and homosexuals.