Hi Seb, Woke up this morning thinking about you and realized it was time to sit down and share a few thoughts with you. I’ve never met you but have visited your site a lot over the past year or so and invested more than a few hours there each time. There’s something really fascinating and wonderful about the freedom that you have with your body, your mind and your sex. You seem totally unfettered by all of the societal ligatures that compete for our souls – and that’s something that really intrigues me. As a photographer I’ve been creating images of nude bodies for a long time now. One of the things that I’m always looking for in the people I photograph is this same kind of freedom with themselves that you have in spades. When a person feels that comfort within themselves, it comes pouring out in the images I create of their bodies. I’ve mostly focused on men in my work over the years because it seems as though that inner freedom, which translates into physical freedom, exists more readily with men than with women. That’s a complicated conversation though and I’ll just skip by it for now.
There’s something inside of a person, that’s particularly attractive to me, that speaks to their comfort with who they are both physically and emotionally. That’s what I’m drawn to and that’s what I’m always looking for, whether it’s in the models I photograph, the people I make love to or the people I call friends. And you Seb, have it. I think I figured it out just a few minutes into my first visit to your site and it keeps drawing me back. In many ways both obvious and subtle, you’re the essence of what it means to be free, right down to the way you spell. You’re way out there beyond the boundaries of gay and straight and male and female. It’s like you’ve drawn all of it up into you and allowed it to express itself however and wherever it will without judgement or reticence. That’s a beautiful thing and it’s captured my attention in a way that few things have in the past few years. So I just wanted to take a few minutes and thank you for investing the time and energy you have in sharing yourself – it’s a gift for many of us to be sure, to be taken along on this journey you’re on and taste a little of the freedom you’re enjoying there. Since I was very young I’ve been carried along in a current of deep and unrelenting sexual feeling and desire that’s never for a moment lulled or disguised itself. It took a long time to make peace with it. But I have.
Finding someone to share the journey with has been more challenging. I’m not suggesting a relationship between us here – just contemplating how great it would be to have the chance to explore some of the nether regions of sexual desire with you wherein there would be no judgement or reticence. In some ways I’m fragile and in others amazingly courageous and adventuresome and realize that you’re a person who knows and understands both of those polarities and would be ideal for a romp that never loses sight of either. A broad sexual periferal vision if you will. Your own exploration of your sexuality and the work you do with others has opened up new avenues of thought for me. Believe it or not, I’ve learned through reading your words to be a little kinder to myself and a little more patient and creative with getting to orgasm. I’ve been fascinated with my butthole since I was little and have enjoyed reading about your thoughts and experiences where this amazing part of our bodies is concerned. I’ve learned to slide a dildo up into my hole and just leave it there – roll over and go to sleep and just let it be and enjoy whatever comes of the experience. I might never have done that had I not read about you doing it – and it’s something I really enjoy now. As a matter of fact, a plug is in my ass as I’m writing to you. I put it there several hours ago before a long saturday morning nap. It’s begging to be pulled now but it won’t be until I’ve finished with this letter. It’s no longer about the orgasm – it’s about moving into a new and different place with the sexual and physical experience. An extract from Affectionately, bi/ Lawrence.