begging 4 release

bdsm

For more years than I care to remember, I’ve always enjoyed having my body and/or genitals touched and massaged, especially by someone else. Their gender wasn’t an issue for me, it was what they were doing and how that made me feel that was the key factor. I was a sensation junkie 🙂 Through this and my own explorations it wasn’t long before I realised that whilst I don’t suffer from premature ejaculation as such (though there are some who subscribe to the notion that ANY ejaculation before you’re ready, is premature), the fact that I do cum quickly can be a disadvantage. Having said that, it’s never been a barrier to me enjoying my sexual explorations, and I don’t have any particular problems with the situation. Yes, it can be frustrating at times, but it lead to one memorable session with a male friend a few years back, where I was made to cum 3 times in 9 minutes – that was fun!!!!!! I mentioned that I don’t really get sexually aroused by females, yet neither do I get turned on by males, transvestites or transsexuals.

begging 4 release

What does work with me though, is reading about or seeing other men being sexually stimulated in various ways, and wishing that it was being done to me, especially if it involved them being teased until they were begging for release or made to cum again and again. In general, it was situations where I had no control of how or what was being that appealed, and it was in this context that I first explored the bdsm scene around 5 years ago. At the time I had little or no idea of what was really involved, but from a few bits I’d seen on the net, it looked as though this was somewhere I could realise those fantasies. As with many other things in life, surprises and revelations are to be found where you least expect them, and the bdsm scene is no exception. As a very nervous newcomer, the first thing that struck me was the sheer openness and acceptance that I was welcomed with. The openness with which matters of a sexual (and sometimes personal nature) were discussed was quite an eye opener for me too. At the very first meeting I went to (this was in a pub, not a party or club) there was quite an open discussion about female genital piercing and clit rings 🙂 It was this openness and friendly atmosphere that gave me then confidence to talk about my own sexuality, and through this I came to understand that it didn’t matter that I didn’t really fit neatly into any particular pigeon hole, what really mattered was that I was “ME”

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I found that for me, bdsm is not just about sex. It’s also about sensation. When I first started, I wanted scenes to incorporate some form of sexual contact, but that didn’t really happen. My first ever bdsm experience was a good sensual flogging (no sex), and I came away from that scene so satisfied and relaxed that even I found it difficult to believe, and I was hooked on sensation play. Since then I’ve had both sexual and non-sex scenes, and I would say be careful what you wish for…. I wanted to cum as part of a scene, and found someone who was willing to oblige. I was regularly flogged,whipped and caned until I was high on my bodies own endorphins, THEN made to cum… I tell you something – within that context, it’s a sure way of stopping me cumming too quickly <lol After around three months of this (which was happening on an almost weekly basis) I found that whilst the sexual aspect was fun at first, I began to yearn for either a straight forward bdsm scene OR a sexual scene, but not both at the same time………. Hmmm…

builders exposed

I wonder what the young lady has in store for me this weekend <grin Through the bdsm scene, not only have I met some wonderful people, many I’m proud to call friends, but I’ve also learned one heck of a lot about myself too. Not just myself in terms of sexual matters either, but how I can improve not only my life and the way I live it, but help others around me improve theirs. I could probably write pages and pages about the bdsm scene and what I’ve got from it and put into it. As I mentioned yesterday, for me it’s not just about being on the receiving end, it’s also about giving. Giving part of yourself for the benefit of others. And that holds true whether you’re dom, sub, top or bottom. The work you do with your clients is probably much the same, helping others in various ways. Catering for their sexual needs or desires that perhaps they may not get elsewhere. From an outsiders perspective, many would say that you gave, and I received.

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However, I feel that the reality is somewhat different. It’s true that you gave me the freedom to express and experience desires that I was seeking, but it wasn’t all take. I also gave something, and that something was my trust and mental energy as well as my body, to enable and empower you to act upon those desires. Sorry if that’s a bit of deep thinking, but it’s part of the philosophy that I’ve come to understand from within the bdsm community 🙂 I’ve yet to fulfil quite a number of my fantasies, although some that I didn’t know that I had, have happened <smile Still, as a wise Mistress once told me, what else is there left when you run out of fantasies? May I thank you once again for your care, courtesy and hospitality, and for inviting me to write to you about some of my personal thoughts and experiences. I hope to pay you another visit some time. With best regards Brian_w

2 thoughts on “begging 4 release


  1. I too do not get turned on by the sight of the female body. Only the sight, smell and feel of the male body gets my mouth wet and asshole twitching.

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